I have been in many relationships. My friends make fun of me, saying that I am soft, that my outwardly stoney facade is clearly not matched by my warm heart. I have been in many relationships, all of which have failed for one reason or another - most because we are young, and flighty, and in college, starting out our lives in places full of opportunities and greener grass at every turn. However, my current relationship has taught me something which my past loves have not.

I will not embarrass him by naming him, but my boyfriend is younger than me - yes, I am a cougar, the joke has already been made. However, he is one of the most responsible and driven people I know. His family are travelers, and therefore he has moved across state lines every other year, attending more schools than he can count. This made him into an adult faster than anyone I have met.

When I moved to California, it was my first significant location change. My life was uprooted, and boy, did I let my parents know how far they had “ruined my life”. I was bad tempered, fatalistic, and honestly, quite closed minded to the idea that a place is what you make of it. Little did I know that two years later, I would be making the conscious decision to commit myself to California for four more years. My boyfriend did not have the luxury of making this decision for himself. Committed to his family, he moved with them without complaint, without questioning, without asking “why-oh-why” this was happening to him.

He has recently returned to California from Texas, where he had been dealing with the devastation of the recent hurricane - in which he lost his home and most of his family possessions and memories. (Meanwhile, here in Los Angeles, I was complaining about how hard it is to go to one of the best schools in the country, because the work load is just too heavy - quality problem, right?) The minute he returned, he started to take care of me. After all he’d been through, and after returning to California alone, and scared, he woke me up on the second morning of his move here with a croissant and a coffee.

He taught me how to love and appreciate my lot in life, to be grateful for everything I have. In the grand scheme of things, despite the day-to-day struggles of being a student so far away from my family, my life is quite perfect. I have people to fall back on financially and emotionally. I have supportive parents, two charming - when they are not obscenely annoying - brothers, and a boyfriend who treats me regardless of what is in his bank account. In this way, he taught me to be selfless, to work with someone else, to build alongside someone, to help others even if I don’t feel I have enough help myself. He has taught me that for the things that are important, we make time, we wring our paychecks of available money, we prioritize those things and people over pre-existing desires, such as that new pair of jeans. We wake up early, run to the shops, and use our budget for the day on an overpriced coffee and less-than-impressive Starbucks croissant for someone else because they are more important than perfectly stitched denim which makes you look like a supermodel.