Due to the recent events regarding Harvey Weinstein and numerous other Hollywood hotshots, it is important for people to pay attention and learn about rape culture. Though innumerable women do their part on a daily basis to draw awareness to the situation, more men need to do their part as well. There are three extremely important things for men to do in order to help.
1. Listen.
Questioning the experiences of women can be insulting and hurtful. Believe those who come forward as victims of sexual assault. Believe that women are scrutinized by their society on a daily basis, and there are women brave through every day, facing the double standards placed upon us. If someone comes to talk to you about their experience with sexual assault, don’t ask questions similar to “What were you wearing?”, “Were you drinking?” , “Did you say ‘no’?” “Did you fight back?”. These questions belittle the victim and tell them that they are the ones at fault when only the culprit is at fault.
2. Examine hyper-masculinity.
Most societies value men most when they fulfill the expectations of hyper-masculinity. From a young age, boys are taught to be dominant, and should their dominance be threatened, they are to only respond with one emotion–anger. Boys are taught to act with “emotional illiteracy,” an inability to understand emotions and engage in close relationships. They are taught to avoid emotional intimacy and self-disclosure, which only brews more internalized emotion that they feel they can only express in the form of rage.
Due to these pent-up emotions within many men, they feel the need to take out their anger, oftentimes on women. This often leads to domestic abuse, sexual assault, and rape. Men need to be aware that their emotional spectrum is entirely valid, and they need to make this known within their male friend groups by validating each other's emotions.
3. Talk about social issues with other men.
Picture this: you’re hanging out with a group of male friends, and one of them makes a joke about rape. If you sit back and ignore these hateful words, you are perpetuating the issue, and therefore you are a part of the problem. Tell your friends that what they’re saying is wrong, and tell them why. Don't be afraid to call them out, and be sure to make them aware that experiences of rape and sexual assault are never funny, and should never be joked about. And these are not the only things that should be discussed. Should your friends make negative remarks about someone's race or sexuality/gender identity, let them know that they're wrong.
It's important to make others aware of the issue of rape culture. Men and women everywhere need to do their part to raise awareness and help work towards the end of the problem. It will take time, but every single step taken is a step towards a world where men and women can feel safe in their own skin.