College is one of the weirdest concepts ever. We work so hard throughout high school to beat out the competition with better grades, more extracurriculars and higher SAT scores, planning out our lives as best we can before we’re even eighteen. When we actually get to campus however, we realize all of that preparation is kind of a farce. In reality, most of the learning we do as college students comes from outside the lecture hall: we learn to be independent, we learn to deal with all different kinds of people and we learn how to be ourselves. We also learn which frats throw the best late-nights and what recipe makes the most delicious Jungle Juice. Believe it or not, all of this information is equally vital to our success.
Don’t get me wrong—academia is really, really important. But at this time in our lives, we are constantly being told to put exams and homework above going out and just being kids, when in reality losing that balance is actually hurting us. We’re conditioned to view the little missteps or bad decisions we make as catastrophically regrettable, and that’s the real mistake. Every single “regrettable” action has positively affected us in some way; you just have to put in a little work to see the silver lining.
School. We’ve all had that one semester where our grades are…well, not quite where we’d like them to be. Sitting there staring at the final exam, wondering what exactly you were doing all semester instead of studying the material you’re supposed to be tested on, it’s easy to immediately start regretting every night you barely glanced at your notes before heading out the door. In retrospect, that wasn’t a very good idea. Learn from it. Try a little harder next semester. Be grateful that you got to go out and have the experiences that you did and don’t feel bad for spending more time on school this time around. There’s no point in regretting what’s said and done on your transcript, but now that you know how good (or bad) you are at budgeting your time, you can adjust accordingly and find the perfect balance to keep you sane, but successful.
Opportunities. Instead of moping around and berating yourself for not applying to that super-cool internship or taking that trip abroad, use your distress over a missed opportunity as a motivator to find something even better. The cool thing about chances like those is that they open your eyes to possibilities you may not have even considered before. Even if you missed the first opportunity, did you walk away with a better idea of what you might want to look for in another? You may not always realize it in the heat of disappointment, but you gained something from losing that particular option. Next time an amazing opportunity comes around, you’ll be ready for it and you’ll appreciate it more because you actually worked for it.
Relationships. You learn something from everyone who comes into your life…even that one relationship you were in that makes you totally cringe now. At some point, that person was exactly what you needed, or maybe just exactly what you wanted. Maybe they gave you confidence, taught you something about yourself (like who to not date) or showed you a different perspective that now affects your life. You don’t necessarily have to be proud of the relationships in your past, but own them nonetheless. Accept that they were a part of growing up for you. Everyone you meet influences you in some way, and it’s up to you to determine the positives from each encounter in order to surround yourself with the people who will allow you to be your best. There’s absolutely no shame in that.
The overall problem with regretting something—be it a questionable decision, a cringe-worthy relationship, or a missed opportunity—is that in doing so, you’re basically refusing to learn anything useful from the experience. Letting go of the negativity from past errors and learning to just be grateful to be moving on makes everything easier, makes you wiser and makes you happier. Our own shortsightedness is what stunts our potential and hurts our chances at success—so get out of your head, look around you, and be amazed at everything you’ve accomplished. Life is pretty incredible. Don’t waste time regretting living it.
