Every ending is really just a new beginning.

Every once in a while I think about how life would be different if some things hadn't happened. I've spent more time than I'd like to admit thinking about what my life would be like if I was still engaged to my ex. After many thoughtful discussions with my roommate, I decided to type out the thoughts in my head, how my life would be different if we had stayed together.

If we had stayed together we would be working on the finishing touches for our wedding.

It was going to be at a farm, with our closest friends and family. We were going to have a country wedding because that's how you were raised and I only wanted you to be happy. I was going to wear the cheapest dress from a dress store in downtown Jackson. I would make sure the food consisted of fried chicken, macaroni and cheese and a chocolate fountain. It was going to be done mostly by me and out of my pocket.

If we had stayed together we would be working full-time to pay for our wedding.

Well, I would be at least. You would struggle to find and keep a job until our wedding day, reminding me that our wedding is worth all the work I'm putting in. I would stay up all night working on little personal things that I could only trust myself on. You would complain that I never go to bed when you do, but the wedding is important right? It'll only be five more minutes. Everything will be different once we're married.

If we had stayed together we would be living in an apartment with our best friends.

Moving in together would have to be with our best friends who are conveniently dating. We'd all move into a two bedroom apartment splitting the rent. We'd only have one vehicle for four people, all of us struggling to get to our respective jobs on time. But it's how we make ends meet. Luckily we all have each other, right?

If we had stayed together we would have been married in August of 2018.

Our wedding would be perfect, with our favorite people making drunken toasts and our parents ignoring each other as they sit at the same table. We would have bad music, lots of laughter and forever memories. The night wouldn't end until well past midnight as our friends call Ubers home. You and I would go to a hotel to spend our first night as a married couple, doing what married couples do on their wedding night.

If we had stayed together we would have been planning on when to start a family.

We wanted to start as soon as possible. A baby was something we agreed on without a doubt. We would have our baby at the same time as our housemates, because what else screams "best friends" like planned pregnancies? We'd be able to share the experience with our favorite people who would also be married. We'd be living our best life, or so we thought.

If we had stayed together my life would be different.

If we had stayed together I wouldn't be sitting in my dorm room typing this article as my best friend does homework 10 feet away. I would be nursing a baby wishing I was still in college. My mom wouldn't speak to me, my father wouldn't be proud of me, and the rest of my family would be talking badly about my decisions behind my back. Because you left me, I am happy. I am not married, pregnant, a mom, or in Jackson. I left that girl behind when I moved and I'm glad I did.

Everything happens for a reason.