I came to the realization the summer before my freshman year in college that I was going to be on my own. I would lose my connection with my high school friends since we were all going in different directions in life. I would be living on my own in a strange cinder-block building with a roommate that I had never met, surrounded by new faces and personalities that I had never encountered before. I would have new professors and new teaching styles to adjust to. Even the new food and dining hall were daunting. Would the food give me indigestion? I'm a picky eater. Will I starve?

I eventually learned to like the dining hall food, especially the chocolate cake (hello freshman fifteen). I got to know my amazing professors and adjust to their multitude of teaching styles. I have made many incredible friends in and out of my dorm that I hope to be friends with forever. I have enjoyed living with my roommate and customizing my half of our minuscule room to fit my ever-changing tastes and personality (making room on my wall for a Star Wars poster three months before school is done? Check). Losing my high school friends was extremely difficult, but it makes it easier for me to move on knowing that they are all happy and following their passions. These adjustments led me on an adventure of trial and error, a discovery of myself, if you will. I discovered that I actually enjoyed being by myself. I loved the solitude and being immersed in my thoughts. I was perfectly content. I was finally beginning to feel comfortable with myself because I wasn't bent on living my life for anyone else. I was free to think what I wanted and free to like what I wanted without feeling insecure about what others thought of me.

I'm not trying to brainwash you by saying NO! You should never have to talk to other people. Become a hermit and live by yourself forever! Go off into the wilderness and never come back to civilization! Become the crazy cat lady/man you were meant to be! No, no. Don’t do that. That’s bad. But what isn't bad is being comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t crave the approval and camaraderie of others. I learned this, and I am now a firm believer that if others did this then they will be immensely happier. That is why I consider myself an "expert" at cutting people out of my life. I'm not cold hearted and eliminating those who have done no wrong towards me. I am simply comfortable with myself and don't rely on people to make me happy, and those who don't encourage my happiness then don't deserve to be around me. I will no longer jeopardize my happiness for others.

Once you find yourself and, more importantly, accept yourself, who else do you need? The answer should be no one. Make your own happiness. Cut out anyone in your life who infringes upon it, and I promise that you will much better off.