Anxiety is something that I have been dealing with my whole life. It is something that comes and goes without any invitation. I remember my anxiety first got really bad in middle school. My anxiety would spike severely when I got into a fight with my parents. I remember not being able to focus on anything except for the fact that everything was going to shit and I was a failure. I never realized that this was an issue until high school.
Growing up at this time anxiety was never really acknowledged. Everyone around me just told me that this was because of hormones and that I would grow out of it. For those of you who have anxiety, you know that it won't ever go away. Once I got to high school things in my life got a lot worse. I was a victim of sexual assault, as well as dealing with my mother's diagnosis of Breast Cancer.
I became completely depressed and my anxiety caused me to self-harm, and self-hate. When things got even worse, I finally sought out help. I began going to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with several medications. I was so happy that finally my anxiety would be pushed to the back of my mind and wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I soon found myself in an overly medicated daze. I was emotionally unattached to almost everything happening in my life. I wasn't happy nor sad, yet my anxiety was still there.
This state of extreme anxiety lasted until college, where it finally decided to take a vacation from me. I didn't feel my anxiety again until this past year. I began analyzing every part of my life. I refuse to go back on the medications because of how they caused me to feel. I nearly drove myself crazy trying to figure out what exactly was causing me all of this anxiety. But the matter of fact is that for me, there is no root cause. It comes and goes without any rhyme or reason. Only recently have I finally figured out what helps me.
Anxiety is something that will always be in my life. However, that does not mean that I cannot lessen it. I found that working out regularly, doing yoga, and meditating is the only thing that will lessen it. This is amazing because for the first time since middle school, I have figured out how to deal with my anxiety disorder in a healthy way (This does not mean in any way that medicating is wrong, these are just my beliefs and what helps me).
Overall, I truly believe that talking about mental disorders and fighting the stigma behind the conversation is key. I would have been so much better off in my adolescent days if I had known what to do. I am not ashamed of my anxiety, and I am lucky enough to have friends who will listen to me vent about it.
Everyone should have these types of people in their lives, because without them the world feels a lot more alone. The point that is important to remember is that it is always okay to talk about your anxiety and depression. Without talking about it, people who suffer from these disorders will likely feel even more overwhelmed with life.