All girls know they fall for guys who are complete jerks way faster than they fall for genuine guys. We know that girls also fall for the undercover douche bag -- the guy who acts sweet, but is actually a jerk. But, that is more understandable than us girls falling for a guy who is totally a jerk, and we can see it. The question is why? What is it that douchey guys do that make girls fall all over them? We know they have some sort of charm about them, but how does it work? Here is what I have figured out about how crappy guys make good girls fall for them.
First, the guy picks the girl he wants to hit on that night. He'll find the girl who is having a good night with her girl friends. He'll find a girl who is maybe a little tipsy, but not belligerent. Then, he'll introduce himself, while also acting like he really does not give a crap who you are. So, of course, that begins to make a girl interested. She'll wonder why this guy even began talking to her and her friend.
He'll start a one on one conversation with the girl he wants, but again, he never really acts like he cares too much about what she has to say. He will subtly talk down to her. He'll mention things that he assumes she does not know anything about. If she does, he'll act shocked; if she doesn't he'll explain and say he impressed that she can admit she does not know something. Either way, he is passively belittling her. If she can keep up with his conversation, and he acts shocked, he is insinuating that she does not seem like a girl who would know too much, but she does, so that's so impressive. If she admits she knows nothing about the topic of conversation he has picked, and he praises her for being secure enough with herself to admit her knowledge is limited, he is again assuming she knows very little and then dwelling on the fact that he was right.
These backhanded compliments are interesting because girls fall for them every time. After a guy has belittled a girl, and acted like he only half way cares about anything that comes out of her mouth, then any sort of compliment seems like the greatest compliment in the world. Jerks are smart like that. They subtly break a girl's self esteem to make minor compliments seem great. He'll also talk about himself a lot, making the girl think he is completely condescending. But, then, he will mention a flaw he has, and how the girl does not have that flaw and he's jealous. So, automatically the girl thinks that was so sweet clearly he's not that self absorbed. And he also subtly complimented the girl without actually complimenting her, per usual. Very sly.
He'll make comments about how he used to be the kind of guy who would just have sex with any girls, but now that's boring to him. Now, he likes to really know a girl before sleeping with her because the connection is so much better. So now the girl is sitting there thinking, well, we've been talking for an hour and he hasn't tried anything; maybe i'm one of the girls he wanted to get to know; maybe he actually likes me.
Then, he will mention something about how he doesn't date. Back to being a jerk, again. However, the girl will still have in the back of her mind that this boy has talked to her for a whole hour without asking her to leave with him. She will still think he might like her even though he has made it clear that he does not date. He knows exactly what he is doing. He has been a blatant jerk the whole time he has been talking to this girl with little slivers of sweetness thrown in. That is the key. This girl now knows this guy is a complete jerk, but she is thinking he has said so many nice things to me so, obviously, I bring out something good in him. And, boom, there it is. The girl is now hooked on a guy who has been treating her crappy all night.
Clearly, these guys are pretty smart. They know how to really get inside a girl's mind. He makes his compliments seem like the best compliments a girl has ever received by first belittling her. That is when the girl first starts to fall for him. These guys also know that every girl wants to be able to change a boy. And in the process of getting to know her, they make her think she actually could be the one to do it.
