How to get over that guy that’s just not That into you– or he could be into you, but not enough for your satisfaction or worth.
Unfortunately, I think we have all been there. You meet someone. You hit it off. You talk to them from time to time, or maybe all the time– you may even become top friends on Snapchat and earn the sought after yellow and then red heart. You may even hang out a few times and go home with each other after a night out. You talk about dating and liking each other– which if you’re like me, is not something you do often.You think things are going great, until they are not.
He may give you signs that he’s not that into you by casually pulling away. He could possibly ghost you, which if you don’t know (like I didn’t a few weeks ago), ghosting means just disappearing from your life with no warning. He may also continue to lead you on until he decides it’s convenient for him to tell you how he’s feeling. For me, I was in bed with him when he drunkenly confessed to me he was torn between me and another girl. LOL, BOY, BYE.
I was caught off guard, just like any other person who likes someone would be if they out-of-the-blue tell you that they don’t feel the same way or that they are into someone else. It sucked. At first, I was hurt. Next, I was pissed. After that, I quickly realized that I deserved better, or at least deserved someone who respected me enough to tell me in an actual sober conversation. I did the “two girl situation” in high school. It’s not fun. Worrying about whether or not someone will choose you is stressful and emotionally trying. I am in college to stress about homework and exams, not boys.
Things I have done that helped me, which could help you:
I am a crier. I hate to admit it, but I am. This is the best thing to do first if you’re like me. Go home, get in bed, and cry it out. Crying in your own bed will be much more comfortable than outside a bar at 1 am– yup, I did that.
2. Talk to a friend
I am not one that enjoys talking about my personal life with people; however, if this situation happens to you, talk to a friend!! If you have a guy friend, he’ll offer to beat up the guy for you, and if you have a girl friend, she’s going to empower the hell out of you until you realize you are better off.Both will make you feel better.
3. Realize it’s him, not you.
Cliché, but totally true. If a guy doesn’t want to be with you, it’s his own fault. He either doesn’t see your worth, doesn’t see you for all the amazing things you are, or could even be afraid of just how wonderful you are. It’s important to acknowledge that those are all his problems– not yours.
4. Hook up with someone else
I am saying hook up lightly. If you want to go mess around or have sex with a guy to get over the boy, you do you. Hooking up could also just mean meeting someone out. Go grab food with someone, dance with someone else or friends at a bar, just do something to distract yourself from the other boy. Honestly, this could either be successful and help you forget him, or make you miss him more, but it is worth a shot.
5. Remember it's okay to be sad
Depending on the situation, it could take you a little bit to be okay with the circumstances. Just remember that it is okay to feel whatever emotions you may feel. Slowly, it’ll start to get better.
6. Listen to an "ef boy" playlist
Seriously, get on Spotify, or whatever music source, and listen to music.
I found a play list called “f*ck boys”, and it was the best damn thing I have ever listened to. For real, music can make you feel all the feelings– and it can make you realize you are a strong, independent person who does not need anyone. (Personal favorites to jump start your playlist: ‘How to Be A Heartbreaker’ and ‘Lies’ Marina and the Diamonds, ‘Shout Out To My Ex’ Little Mix, ‘Picture to Burn’ Taylor Swift). Just find some music that channels the inner Beyoncé in you and forget about that person that did you wrong.