I was heartbroken. I felt like I was not remotely pretty. I thought I could never be good enough for someone to love me or to even be with me. I hated for not caring as much as I should for my family. I didn't like who I was and who I became.
But God helped me find myself.
I was in one of those stages in life where if something doesn't go my way, I felt like it was the end of the world. I didn't care about anything or anyone but me. Looking back now, I don't like myself for being that way. Then, I had a wake up call.
After a few regrets and stupid choices, God came to me in a way I can not describe. I had a dream of him telling me in a human male figure saying "Love me more, Gabbi, love me more," repeatedly. And it hit me.
I spent some time to myself, reading his word and worshiping him, I felt his presence and asked for his forgiveness. I felt like a whole new person after some time. Everything in my life became more clear, my future career was right there in the open. I knew what he wanted me to do in life.
I've always have been a believer of Jesus Christ and I've always have considered myself as a Christian. Even if I do not go to church on a regular basis, I still worship, pray and read the word. Not because I do not go to church a lot but because I love serving my savior in any way possible.
Finding my true self was accepting Jesus into my heart. And doing what he wants me to do. To do what is right even if that means to love someone who does wrong.
I couldn't be anymore thankful for what God has giving me. He gave me this amazing life to live and to live for him.
Losing myself was a blessing because finding myself brought me closer to God.
(Isaiah 48:17) "Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, The Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you by the way you should go.'"