This past week I had the great opportunity of taking two tests one after another.
Although I was aware of one and had been preparing for it during spring break, taking an exam right after spring break is not something one would like to do. The other test was a pop quiz in my calculus class for Pi Day.
While I was both preparing for and taking these tests, I experienced a myriad of emotions.
Today, I am going to recall how I feel while taking a test
1. Laughing at the questions
For about the first five minutes of the test period, I usually laugh at the question paper, and at myself for knowing half or less than half of the test material being covered. while this may reflect my nervousness and my panicked mood, I also use this as a mechanism to relax and recall any and all material that I know.
2. I will prepare better the next time
As I am done laughing and have begun taking the test, I cannot help but pray to god to help me this time. I also promise that I will be prepared well in advance for the next test and that I would be in a better condition the next time.
3. Do I really need to be in college?
While I am sitting in the examination room with my test, I cannot help but analyze and ponder, "do I really need to take this class?" (anthropology) "Do I really need to be in college and get educated to be a good human being?" "Do I really need good grades and a piece of paper to prove that I am qualified to be in graduate school?"
4. Why me?
When I get done with the test and get out of the room, I cannot help but realize that this happens every time and that this is just how it is going to be every test. However hard I prepare and however well I know and understand the concepts, I am going to panic, doubt my capabilities, and question my knowledge and abilities to exist in college. But it is not going to stop me from being in college.
As I sit there going over the test and answering the questions in the best way that I can, I cannot help but think "why me god?" Am I the only person who is this unprepared in this room? Who is finding this test hard, or is everyone else in the same boat as me?
As discouraged as I get on some days and as disappointed as I am, I know that I have to be strong and keep moving ahead -- facing every emotion as I experience it and making this college experience of mine great!
Regardless of what comes my way, I am going to come out of it with my head held high and take every pop quiz and test in stride.