November 1st, 2017

I lost my Grandma 5 months into my Freshman year of college. My Grandma was like a second mom to me. She was there at every choir concert, she took me shopping if I needed new shoes, she was my favorite old-time movie buddy, and she was the best mentor I could have ever asked for. My Grandma made me who I am today – she encouraged me to follow my dreams and to never settle for less than I deserve.

Losing her during an already hectic time in my life sucked. And after she passed away, I just wanted to give up. I wanted to move out of my dorm and drop all of my classes because the grief overcame me so much. As I was about to tell my family I was gonna leave college, I found a book she gave me. And in that moment I realized she would not want me to stop my life.

Of course, I could cry for her, but after the crying was over I knew she would want me to resume living. She didn’t want me to stop achieving my goals and doing what I loved. I couldn’t let this grief overcome me. So I did some things to help this grief. And I hope you can feel the love in this advice because there is so much my Grandma gave me and I am now giving it out to others.

First, I cried. I cried A LOT. The worst thing a person can do after losing a loved one is to hold in tears. I get it: you want to seem strong and do not want to appear vulnerable in front of people. I understand that fully. But the longer you leave those tears inside of you, the more it is going to grow and cause more harm to you. Cry. It’s ok to cry. You lost someone who held a great importance in your life and grieving is normal. You are not alone.

Secondly, Do something in their honor. My Mom and I each wrote a letter to my Grandma and put them in balloons. And one windy day we released the balloons up into the sky and hoped and prayed they would end up in her arms.

Thirdly, self-care is essential during this time. Do not neglect to take care of yourself physically and mentally, especially during this time. Take a long bath, do a night mask, listen to some relaxing music. Your health is so important, do not let the grief make you forget this.

Hug everyone because this type of pain, although hard to explain, happens to everyone in life. Just know you are not alone. There are people who get what you are going through and the grief will become less and less as time goes on. Whoever you lost is always with you, right there in your heart. Live life, think of them, and achieve your goals for them. That’s what they would want you to do.