As I sat in the first row at church listening to the choir sing their Christmas carols, I could already feel how different this Christmas was going to be. It was nine o’clock on a rainy, cold night—the last service for Christmas Eve. The Christmas tree was lit up with beautiful, shiny ornaments hanging from it and there was a gold cross hanging from the ceiling. I looked up at that cross like I never have before.

In my short 20 years of life, Christmas has always been about giving and receiving presents and a time where everyone would try to be nice to each other. A few weeks ago, I saw a video on Facebook of a guy who burned down his family’s Christmas tree because he didn’t get the present he wanted—we’ve become so wrapped up in the idea that Christmas is all about presents and have forgotten why this holiday even exists in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I still love being able to pick out the perfect presents for the people I love, but I’ve learned that Christmas means so much more than that. I have always known why we celebrate Christmas, but it wasn’t until now that I truly understand it.

I knew the story, but I didn’t really know who Jesus Christ is.

He is our savior. He is our everything. And He is love. And not the kind of love we have for our family, our friends, or even adorable puppies. It’s a kind of love that can’t be put into words. And until you’ve experienced the love He has for us, you wouldn’t be able to understand.

I had completely lost my faith a couple years ago and somehow through the countless nights of crying myself to sleep and all of the horrible thoughts running through my mind, I found it again. Jesus gave me a miracle that I didn’t see coming and it took me until now to realize what was really happening.

There have been so many people who have came up to me and told me that if I asked Jesus to heal me, he would. I’m a Christian, but to be honest, I used to think that these people were crazy. I thought: how can my muscular dystrophy just magically disappear? But a few months ago, I started a new medicine that has been helping me get stronger and I never in my life thought I’d be able to say the words, “I’m getting stronger.”

A couple months ago, I saw a video of girl who had scoliosis and was healed right in front of my eyes. I could see one of her right leg growing to match the left one (her right leg was a lot shorter than the left) and at the end of the video, her mom felt her spine and it was completely straight. I couldn’t see her spine move back into the right place, but I definitely could see her one leg growing. I have also seen many other videos of people being healed like this and I even saw a movie about a girl that was healed of her disease.

It can be really hard to believe that things like this could really happen. Trust me, I never believed in it either. But each time that I feel my muscles getting stronger and I am able to do something I couldn’t before, I’m reminded of what Jesus is doing for me. After I saw the video of the girl with scoliosis, I wondered why He hasn’t healed me the way He healed her—instantly. But one day it came to me—Jesus is healing me slowly because He wants me to see each thing that I used to struggle with disappear.

For the first time this Christmas, I didn’t have any problems hanging the ornaments on my tree and it was easier to open some of the presents I got. For the first time, I am not only celebrating Jesus’s birth, I am celebrating the miracle He has given me and many others. For the first time, I can feel Jesus’s love as I celebrate His birthday.

Whether you are a Christian or not, you still may or may not believe what I am saying. And that’s okay, not everyone is going to believe in miracles like this. But I hope that one day you can experience the love I have felt from Him too.

Merry Christmas!