Change is weird, man. Change is super weird… but weird isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

This morning I moved into the apartment that I will be living out the rest of my college days in. I woke up at the heinous hour of 6:30 am. My mom and I split the ride in half so for the first 2 hours I was passed out as she facetimed just about everyone she’s ever known, and for the last 2 hours she snored while I jammed out.

I pulled up to 417 Comstock, the apartment building that I was about to start calling home. The building itself had a familiar exterior as it had always been there, but I was not nearly as comfortable with the interior. Thoughts started uncontrollably filling my head. That’s something that my mind tends to do on its own and the reaction follows. Being away from home, routine, independence, comfort (or lack of), and support – these are all things that seeped their way into my mind without any effort on my conscious part.

I walked into the building, still half asleep and was immediately confronted with papers that required a signature from the “resident.” That was me; I was the resident in this vaguely familiar but not very familiar at all apartment building. I initialed a bunch of forms and just like that we started unpacking full-force. I moved my bed approximately five times and struggled to decide what furniture I wanted to keep from previous years. I then had to ration my clothes out between different storage units and drawers and decide what would go where. This basically took the day in its entirety. I got my sheets super last minute – I’m talking like a couple of hours before I got in bed. Then it was time for my parents to leave. This was a moment that I dreaded every single year. Saying bye to my parents is hard for me in a way that even I do not understand. And on my fourth year I am extremely proud to say that I did not cry. I am also extremely proud to say that I got into my bed and already felt like I was home.

It’s funny how we, as humans, can sometimes shock even ourselves. These two little things opened my eyes to a much bigger picture. The progress I had made throughout the entirety of my college experience thus far had just panned out in front of me. I used to dread every second of every minute of move in. I hated transitioning from being home for an extended period of time to being away at school. No matter how much time I had in between it always felt like it wasn’t enough. I was so used to these uneasy feelings that I subconsciously brought them upon myself.

I leave Syracuse University not only with a degree but also the ability to clearly see my transition from an incoming freshman to the rising senior that I am now. Syracuse has helped shape me into a more confident person. Transition and change is and always will be weird for me, but weird isn’t necessarily a bad thing.