Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is let something you love go. I can’t explain the love between someone you assume to be your best friend. If I was taught anything in my life, it’s that holding onto things that don’t want to be held onto is the unhealthiest thing to do to yourself. I didn’t know when, I didn’t know how, but I knew when to let you go.

Heads up high school seniors, half of the friends you consider your best seem to slip through the cracks of your fingers never to be touched again. Some of them yearn to be back in your life with one text, one call or one smile- and instantly memories from two, three or even five years ago seem like they just happened a couple of minutes ago. Some of them will pass by you with the feared blank face, like the memories never happened and you never stayed up every single night eating your favorite dominos pizza. Like you never called their mother your own, and like you never talked about being in each others wedding, nothing — like nothing ever happened.

You can’t ever be prepared for losing your best friend, it hits you like a car hits a wall. The kind of crash that leave no victims alive. I guess what I’m trying to say is that a part of me went with you-you still have me in your pocket. I’ll be here when you need me — when you need someone who knows the old you — the one I knew.

You know you lost them when those “out of group chat texts” (you know you do it) seem to dwindle, when you no longer get those “is this cute enough to wear tonight” texts, when you no longer receive daily texts from their mom ensuring you’re OK — just like your own mom would do. I knew I lost you when people started to notice. People started to ask “what happened” – sometimes when I was asked I could feel myself losing my breath. I didn’t want to admit it. I don’t think I ever will. You know you lost them when it’s not just other people talking — you feel yourself starting to talk. You start to complain saying that it's all “their” fault, you start telling people only things they did to ruin the friendship.

That’s when you need to stop and accept – it’ll never be the same

You’ll never accept the fact that their name is no longer on your most recent in your text messages. You’ll never accept the fact that their little sister won't be just like yours anymore. You’ll absolutely, positively never accept the fact that they’ll start calling someone else their best friend — that’s when it hurts the most. When they start making new memories, ones that don’t involve you anymore.

It doesn’t get easier; it just gets better.

You start making your own friends, making new memories. You start talking about how it was a mutual feeling — losing each other. You start to talk to them, maybe, just a little as another person in your life. It’s hard to rebuild from there. My wish for anyone going through this: Don’t blame yourself, accept the fact that they no longer want to be fixed by you anymore, lastly realize you’ve done enough…It’s time to move on. You’ll be OK — but it's more heartwarming knowing that they’ll be just fine too.