It's true: I absolutely love and hate horror movies at the same time.

I'm fascinated with inhuman things, things that are either close to human but not quite, as well as things that are the total opposite. I'm thinking of Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's "It," specifically. He looks like your average neighborhood creepy clown, but in reality (SPOILER ALERT!) he's this weird, alien bug creature that just assumes the form of a clown.

Super cute, I know.

Some other notable figures: Michael Myers ("Halloween"), Jason Voorhees ("Friday the 13th"), and Leatherface ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre"). Of course, there are many more, but the weirdness in me loves these serial killer figures. Not "loves" as in worships, but rather like a strange fascination.

I promise I won't turn into a serial killer, guys.

That being said, I can't watch horror movies. I mean, I can, but I hide my eyes most of the time, and I'm super jumpy and I scream and throw pillows and need to take breaks just to power through the movie.

Why do I do this to myself?!

I really wish I knew. But I don't want to be of the party that is never exposed to great films and characters just because I'm scared, and even those these horror figures aren't necessarily real, I still get that adrenaline-filled fight-or-flight response, which at least tells me that my body is, more or less, still functioning properly.

I even asked my partner to come see "It" in theaters with me (he's a sweetheart, so although he wasn't totally interested at first, he did it for me!) and I probably saw only half of the film, hiding my eyes for all the super spooky parts. Which is, pretty much, the entire film.

I'll probably keep on suffering just so I can be exposed to amazing films and well-developed characters well into old age... although there'll probably come a time where I have to stop so my aging heart doesn't give out!