It's 2:30 a.m., and I'm being awoken by a FaceTime from yet another drunk boy. I answer, stupidly, to hear him plastered, asking what I'm up to. Once I quickly hang up, so many questions come to my mind.
Do I really look like that girl? Does he really think of me like that? What did I see in him?
My sister in-law always asks me why. Why do you answer those FaceTime calls when all they do is make you more and more upset with everyone? I guess I just look for the good within everyone. Maybe this time they're calling to check in with me.
Growing up, I looked to my dad to see how women should be treated — to the flowers on Valentine's Day, the early morning coffee and the surprise visits to work. My dad definitely set the standard high.
I thought that all men were like my dad, and I couldn't wait to find someone I could bring home to him.
I've never really experienced the love that my parents have. Yes, I had sparks of it during my first year of college. But, as time would tell, he was definitely not what I dreamed of.
I want a guy to take me out to dinner, and I don't care how cliché it sounds. I want a guy to watch Disney movies with me, even though he could care less if Mitchy ends up with Shane in "Camp Rock." I want him to want to come to all my dance shows — not because he should, but because he cares enough to go.
I just want a guy to show up for me.
I'm not asking for a lot. I do not expect for someone to pay for my dinner. Although that is nice, I want to be able to pay for myself. It's just the girl boss within me. Yes, every once in a while, being taken out to dinner and not having to pay is nice. But I'm not that girl who expects it every time.
I feel like all the boys that I've gotten to know think that I either like to be treated like trash or I will justify allowing them to treat me however they like. This is not the case.
I'm not saying I pick the best guys out of the bunch. I surely always seem to pick the worst. Yes, there are some that I can see myself with, but they don't see themselves in a relationship.
I always seem to pick the boys who mess around with a bunch of girls — the ones who act like they don't see you when they clearly do, or the ones who ignore your texts and Snapchats. And I get it. Not answering my Snapchats is not that important. But when it's a Snap of me asking how they are, it would be nice to get a response.
I just do not understand why I attract all the assholes.
Every one of these boys — whether an athlete or a NARP (non-athletic regular person) — makes me think that the love that my parents and grandparents have is one that I'll never find.
And I do not think that is fair to me or any girl who is a hopeless romantic.
We deserve a guy who will message us, just like in "A Cinderella Story." We want someone to go see the newest Nicholas Sparks movie with us, even though it's just another chick flick. We want someone who will go on ice cream dates in the summer and pumpkin picking in the fall.
I hope that one day, these boys — no, they are not men because men do not FaceTime girls at 2:30 a.m. — realize that no girl wants a guy like that.
My dream for the future is that these boys become hopeless romantics, just like me.