Are There Any Hopelessly Romantic Men Left?

From The Hopeless Romantic Who's Sick And Tired Of These Stereotypical F*ckboy

Is it just me, or are girls the only ones who are hopeless romantics?


It's 2:30 a.m., and I'm being awoken by a FaceTime from yet another drunk boy. I answer, stupidly, to hear him plastered, asking what I'm up to. Once I quickly hang up, so many questions come to my mind.

Do I really look like that girl? Does he really think of me like that? What did I see in him?

My sister in-law always asks me why. Why do you answer those FaceTime calls when all they do is make you more and more upset with everyone? I guess I just look for the good within everyone. Maybe this time they're calling to check in with me.

With every one of these FaceTime calls and "WYD" texts, I lose hope in finding a guy that lives up to my standards.

Growing up, I looked to my dad to see how women should be treated — to the flowers on Valentine's Day, the early morning coffee and the surprise visits to work. My dad definitely set the standard high.

I thought that all men were like my dad, and I couldn't wait to find someone I could bring home to him.

I've never really experienced the love that my parents have. Yes, I had sparks of it during my first year of college. But, as time would tell, he was definitely not what I dreamed of.

I want a guy to take me out to dinner, and I don't care how cliché it sounds. I want a guy to watch Disney movies with me, even though he could care less if Mitchy ends up with Shane in "Camp Rock." I want him to want to come to all my dance shows — not because he should, but because he cares enough to go.

I just want a guy to show up for me.

I'm not asking for a lot. I do not expect for someone to pay for my dinner. Although that is nice, I want to be able to pay for myself. It's just the girl boss within me. Yes, every once in a while, being taken out to dinner and not having to pay is nice. But I'm not that girl who expects it every time.

I feel like all the boys that I've gotten to know think that I either like to be treated like trash or I will justify allowing them to treat me however they like. This is not the case.

I'm not saying I pick the best guys out of the bunch. I surely always seem to pick the worst. Yes, there are some that I can see myself with, but they don't see themselves in a relationship.

I always seem to pick the boys who mess around with a bunch of girls — the ones who act like they don't see you when they clearly do, or the ones who ignore your texts and Snapchats. And I get it. Not answering my Snapchats is not that important. But when it's a Snap of me asking how they are, it would be nice to get a response.

I just do not understand why I attract all the assholes.

Every one of these boys — whether an athlete or a NARP (non-athletic regular person) — makes me think that the love that my parents and grandparents have is one that I'll never find.

And I do not think that is fair to me or any girl who is a hopeless romantic.

We deserve a guy who will message us, just like in "A Cinderella Story." We want someone to go see the newest Nicholas Sparks movie with us, even though it's just another chick flick. We want someone who will go on ice cream dates in the summer and pumpkin picking in the fall.

I hope that one day, these boys — no, they are not men because men do not FaceTime girls at 2:30 a.m. — realize that no girl wants a guy like that.

My dream for the future is that these boys become hopeless romantics, just like me.

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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