To the one he loves next,
I don’t hate you, I never will. I hate myself more than I will ever hate you. It’s not your fault he loves you. It’s mine.
He was my everything. He was my first love. He was my bestfriend. Was. He’s yours now. He’s gonna be you’re everything, you’re bestfriend.
He’s a mess in a disguise. He will get mad over the little stuff. He will be annoying most of the time. He will wanna watch every superhero movie there is. He will talk about the craziest stuff. He will wanna make sure your parents love him the most. He will eat ramon noodles that aren’t even cooked. He will take care of you. He will love you more than anything.
I will always be jealous of you. I’ll be jelaous you get to hold his hand. I’ll be jealous you get to kiss him goodnight. I’ll be jelaous you get to make him happy. I’ll be jealous you get to take cute pictures with him ( even though he hates pictures ). I’ll be jealous you get to love him instead of me.
Advice from me. Don’t argue over the small stuff. Don’t walk away from him when he’s mad. Don’t leave alone when he’s upset. Don’t cry all the time ( he hates that ). Don’t mistreat him. He will say stuff he doesn’t mean, don’t take it personally. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with him.
… why did I decide to write this?
Because I want you to know that I feel no resentment toward you. And that I just really hope you make him happy.
Because that is all I ever wanted to give him.
Happiness.
His happiness meant more to me than my own. I was unable to give him the happiness he needed.
And it almost killed me.
But I hope in the end everything works out better for you. And I hope you get to be with the love of our lives because you really do deserve to be happy.
I hope that if you ever decide to leave, he’ll love you enough to stop you at the door and kiss you until you decide to stay. I hope you turn around and promise that you’ll never leave his side.
I hope you don’t make the same mistake I did.
I hope you stay.
Because one of us has to.
And it’s much too late for me.
I hope your love lasts much longer than ours ever did, and I hope you don’t see me as his ex-love who is resentful because I no longer carry his heart around.
I’m merely the girl who was meant to love him right before you came along.
And even though I didn’t know that for a very very long time (I may not have known it until I finished writing this letter), I know it now. And it’s a role I’m not ashamed to play.
Because at least I got him for an amazing year of my life.
At least I had enough time to memorize him completely.
At least I have his love safe in my heart so I can revisit it whenever I miss him.
I do miss him.
A lot sometimes.
But I’m always reassured with the beautiful fact that he has you. And you won’t leave him.
And that is why I wrote this for you. Because I think you’re really pretty, and I think it may in fact be forever between you two.
And if you were meant to be his life long love story, then I’m just happy to be the prologue.