Homesick Does Not Begin To Cover It

Homesick Does Not Begin To Cover It

I may be a legal adult, but sometimes all I need is my mom and dad to tell me everything is gonna be okay.


It is my second year being 400 miles away from home, and I have come to the conclusion that no matter how old I get, I will always need my family. Whether I am sick or having a mental breakdown while I am studying, sometimes all I want and need is a hug from my mom and dad to make me feel better. When I cannot have that, it is an emotional day.

Do not get me wrong. Sometimes I can go a whole day without talking to them and not even think about it, but that is a rare occasion. Most days I spend wondering what they are doing or end up calling them to ask a question. Then there are the nights their presences are all I need, so I call just to hear their voices.

People always say, "College is hard," and yes, classes are hard too, but what they do not tell you is how hard it is to be away from the loved ones you spent the last 18 years living in the same house with. They never explain to you that when you get sick, no one will be there for you the way your mom and dad always were. No one to bring you soup, no one to tell you what medication to buy, and no one to run to the store to get you any of that. It is all you. They never tell you that no one will be there for you when you have a panic attack. Mom and dad will not be there to rub your back and calm you down. Your siblings are not there to give you the words of wisdom that you need to hear. They do not inform you about the nights you will spend alone when you would do anything just to be in a room with family, even if the tv was on and there was not a word said. They never explain to you how much you will miss family dinners, because unless you are eating out with friends, you eat every meal alone.

When deciding on a school that is a hundred miles away or just deciding to move out of the house, none of these things cross one's mind. It is not until the moments of silence and loneliness that you will realize just how much you need your family. The moments when you're desperate just for a hug or to hear them say, "I love you," or, "I am proud of you." These moments come in waves. One day, everything is okay, and the next, you will end the night in tears.

Distance will give you a whole new perspective of the ones you love. You will find an appreciation for them that you never have before. Actions that seemed so simple and routine become missed and beyond appreciated.

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