We would not be who we are today if it was not for our home. Maybe you have grown up in the same house since you were born or maybe you moved around a little bit, regardless, it shaped you. Home was always a familiar place with familiar faces. It provided comfort in times of need. Home is where it all began. It holds so many memories and stories within its town lines. It is honestly kind of beautiful how one place can hold so many moments for someone. But then things change and suddenly “home” no longer feels like home. The memories remain and the town never changes, but you do. It is a strange feeling. You know every detail about a place, yet it becomes an unfamiliar setting in your heart.

I can tell you the exact moment that home no longer felt like home. When the town I grew up in became a strange place to me, an empty town with every road leading to a dead end. Honestly, I was petrified. I always felt like in a time of desperation, I could lean on the place that raised me and over time I no longer felt comfort in a place I once relied on. I began to realize that there was nothing for me any longer. I had fewer and fewer reasons to want to visit a place that I once called home.

My family is extremely important to me and they are absolutely a priority in my life but I was raised to always do what I believed was in the best interest for myself. I have people I love in the place I once called home, but I try to help them understand that there is no longer room to grow there. As time has passed I no longer have the desire or urgency to go home. I used to feel homesick constantly and all I wanted was my bed and a familiar place, however, that is no longer the case. Today I have the desire to travel and find myself. I have learned that there is such a vast world outside of the place I once called home. There are new places that need to be explored and interesting people that need to be met.

There certainly is a trigger and for some, it may never go off, but for others. it will. Something happens and suddenly you begin to avoid a place you once loved so dearly. It is confusing and scary, but we eventually understand that we are human and we change. The person we were five years ago surely is not the person we are today and that is absolutely normal. The place we used to call home was a place where we used to be able to grow but you can only grow so much in one place before you reach a halt. We begin to comprehend that no matter how hard we try to make home feel like home, it does not change.

There is an incredible life out there waiting for us. Right now we may not exactly have a home but there is a place out there that we may not even know exists yet that waits for us to make our arrival and plant our roots. There is growth outside of a dead end town with nothing to offer. The memories will always stay within those town lines and we should look at those memories and be thankful that we have a place that holds those moments. A place that we took our first steps, had our first love and achieved so much.

I am thankful for having a place where I had so many pivotal moments, but there is no longer room for me there. I hope one day I find a place that I can step foot in and sense that I am finally home but for now I am simply ready to travel and get out of my comfort zone.