My First Holiday Season Without My Best Friend

My First Holiday Season Without My Best Friend

I wish that you were still here.


A little under a year ago, but coming up on a year really soon, I lost my elderly dog Deacon. It definitely as I would describe it one of the worst days of 2018. Don't get me wrong, I had an amazing 2018. But I think that it was just one of the dents in my year that when I think back to when I got the news, I still cry. I spent the rest of 2018 without a dog in my life, and I knew as the year went on that spring break and summer break was going to be weird without him.

But it flew over my head that this would be my first winter break without him as well.

When we adopted him back when I was about seven, it was still the summer before second grade and he, of course, was still a puppy. That meant that every year of his life, there was at least one Christmas and New Year's celebrated with him. After New Year's 2018, I had this gut feeling inside of me that he was not going to make it to the end of the year with how his health was going.

That gut feeling was correct. But he didn't even make it to the end of the first month of 2018. So like I said before, I spent the rest of 2018 without my best friend.

Then, when winter break began and I realized that this was going to be my first Christmas without Deacon, it hit me like a wall falling on top of me and smashing me to my death. While the tree was up and decorated and the stockings were hung, it all felt weird. We were not telling Deacon to stay away from the tree, and we did not hang up the stocking that was specifically made for him (it had the letter D on it for Deacon).

Then New Year's came around, and the thought came up again a few days after we said goodbye to 2018 and said hello to 2019. He was not barking at everyone cheering and wondering why everyone was counting down from 10 and yelling Happy New Year. I didn't hear his barks as fireworks would go off to celebrate the New Year. He wasn't around the dinner table at Christmas Eve or New Year's Day. Everything just felt like that hole grew a little bit during the holiday season.

For Christmas, I got my family this one ornament from when my sorority had our semi-formal in Frankenmuth, Michigan and we went to Bronner's. It was an ornament talking about the rainbow bridge and the reason I got it was that it felt like it could help in memory of how this was the first holiday season without Deacon and that he was now in a better place. Which he was.

My family made it through our first holiday season without Deacon, but as the one year of his passing is coming up, I know my heart is going to be heavy during this time.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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My Lover This Valentine's Day Is My Dog And I'm More Than Okay With That

Who needs a man when you have a four-legged best friend that'll never leave your side?


Oh, Valentine's Day. The day we cherish our loved ones and shower them with love and affection, but shouldn't you be doing that every day? From the mushy Hallmark cards to the heart-shaped chocolate boxes that go on sale the day after February 14, I think staying at home with your furry friends is the ideal way to spend Valentine's Day.

Whether you have a Valentine or not, rest assured that there isn't anything or anyone else you would want to spend it with besides your four-legged fur baby. There is a multitude of reasons as to why I would choose a dog over a boyfriend, but I'll only list a few.

1. Our dogs give us love and affection year round


They don't just wait until the 14th of February to decide that they want to show us love. You can simply walk in the door after a long day in class and they'll be there with their tail wagging ready to shower you in kisses.

2. You regret memories with your ex, not your dogs


I don't think there was ever a time where I would look back and remember all the dogs I had growing up and remember one bad thing about them. Those adorable canines bring so much happiness. But, if I were to reflect on a past relationship? That's a big yikes for me.

3. Dogs never judge you


You might think they're staring at you weird if they catch you changing in your room or doing something they're not familiar with, but don't be alarmed. Dogs can't be judgmental like us humans. They simply just find you to be an amazing person who they love unconditionally.

4. Dogs being clingy is cute, not when it's your partner


It's cute when my dog follows me around like they're some magnet, but if I were to have a boyfriend do that to me? That would be overly clingy and he would need to take a step back.

5. Dogs LOVE cuddling


I've never met a dog who hates cuddling. They will do anything for a little love and attention. You can also shower your pet with kisses. They love that just as much as we love when they give us kisses. Or when they come to lay in our beds with us.

6. Dogs don't steal the covers


You never have to worry about your dog trying to steal the covers from you. They're your own personal space heater if we're being honest. Having blankets and a dog to keep you warm? I think that's the jackpot.

7. Dogs won't hate your cooking


They're dogs. They will eat everything and anything, and I mean it. You have some leftover pizza crust you don't want? Your dog will eat it. Don't want those mashed potatoes? Dogs are drooling puddles just to get a lil' taste.

8. And no matter what, dogs are always loyal


No matter how mad you may get at your dog, you know that they'll never be one to leave or be mad at you. They are your best friends until the day they pass on and you are their best friend till the end. They protect you, they love you, and will show it in any way possible.

Honestly, I'm confused as to why people get Valentine's. You have to buy them flowers and chocolates and stuffed bears, but with a dog? As long as you are able to cuddle them at the end of the night? That's all that should matter.

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