I did everything Hollywood told me to do to have a good high school experience. I was a varsity football cheerleader all four years. I wore makeup to school and tried my absolute best to make a private school uniform look cute. I dated the baseball players and the senior boys and even went to prom all four years. By any movie’s standpoint, high school was going to be the time of my life.

And yet, high school was the worst four years of my life.

My self-esteem plummeted. I was depressed. I stopped talking at school, and I stopped feeling like myself. I felt like I had very few people to reach out to who would be there for me, and that was the actual, harsh reality of it all. I did not have anyone to lean on, and even the very, very few girls who I considered as friends were only there because I was just another addition to their lunch table.

These girls that I spent high school with were mean. It didn’t matter to them that there were roughly only 20 girls in our class, they made it as hard as humanely possible for the girls they didn’t like to have a good experience throughout high school, aka me.

The same girls that were with me on my cheerleading team were the ones who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be on the team, much less good enough to be a part of theirteam and their group. I remember distinctively my senior year when we had a cheer sleepover after the game, and I told one of the girls that I was going. Her response was, “No offense, but please don’t." Please don't. For someone who tries not to let emotions get the best of me, I sat in my car and cried after that game.

The same girls who started FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) were the girls who looked at each other and started laughing when I spoke up in class. The same girls who were in my small group were the ones who would indirectly put cruel posts about me online – the ones where everyone knows it’s about you, too. The same girls who brought Christian events to our school were the same girls who started nasty rumors about me, the kind that had absolutely no basis to them. There was even an instance where I had to involve the police. There were indirect posts, texts and stories, and the more I suffocated from what these girls were saying and doing, the more horrible I felt.

High school may not be the best four years of your life, no matter who you are. I wish I had had someone there to tell me that before I went through it all, because I expected it to be the absolute best. You can be the sweetest, most beautiful soul, and there will always be someone who will try to take it away from you. Bullying is awful. Girls are awful. Boys are awful. Even faculty members aren’t that great, especially when they take sides.

But let me tell you, those girls aren’t going to ruin your life. That rumor isn’t going to ruin your life. The fact that the really cute guy broke your heart isn’t going to ruin your life. The boys who have nothing better to do with their time than mess with you won’t ruin your life. High school isn’t supposed to be the best four years of your life, but what I’ve also learned is that high school and all the people in it shouldn’t make you feel like you’re any less than who you are. One of my favorite movies, "The Help", had this incredibly simple and powerful quote: “You is kind, you is smart, you is important." I wish I could've had someone there to remind me that specific quote every day of high school, because no one and no amount of years spent with anyone should ever make you feel like you are any less than that: kind, smart and important.

So, for the girl with the scars of her story laid out on her wrists, those people who laugh will never be able to fathom your strength. Don’t you dare let them try to take that strength away from you. For the girl who’s depressed, I learned that the sun rises each morning, and each day brings a new opportunity for the darkness to leave. Don’t hold on to it just because people make you think you have to. For the girl who doesn’t see the beauty in her own spirit, it’s there. If you give it a little space to grow, your soul will blossom. For the girl who's the punching bag for petty rumors, think about how sad of a life those people must have to constantly need to bring down others. Keep your head up and walk with pride, because you have an inner beauty that they will spend their entire lives without. And for the cheerleader who is just trying to find her place, be patient and expectant in waiting. Unimaginable joy will come if you only give it time.

So, you is kind, you is smart and you is important. High school won’t be the best four years of your life, but it’s only a building block for the rest of your life. So keep your head up, and darling, what a beautiful life you’ll have.