Social media: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook (if you still use it), Tumblr, Pinterest.

We share so many of the details of our lives on these sites, yet they never capture the full story. How long do you spend deciding which of the thirty seven pictures you took to post on Instagram (since posting two in one day is a cardinal Insta-sin) and sending the final contenders to friends to ask which would get more likes? How long does it take comparing X-Pro II, Valencia, and Juno to decide which one is the most flattering? These sites take control of our lives and we begin to judge ourselves against the posts and images we see on others' social media accounts.

You've probably heard it before, but the posts on social media- be it an artsy Instagram, a cute new profile picture on Facebook, or an ironic tweet- only represent the highlights of our lives. And even then, these highlights have backstories that no one sees when they look at these pictures.

Examples:

Both of these are from my Instagram account. They are both from the 2015 US National Synchronized Skating Championships; the picture of my team was posted the day after we competed, while the picture with my mom was posted in July, on her birthday. I look happy in these. If you know me well, you know the close up picture with my mom looks strange-- my face doesn't look right and my eyes are just weird.

These pictures were taken right before I entered treatment for my eating disorder. That was the first time I'd seen my mom since she had learned the extent of what was happening to me, and when she saw this picture, she cried because of "how sick" I look. The picture with my team looks exciting and fun and amazing- which it was. However, I was also whirring with thoughts about how I looked in my dress, how much of the salad I knew I was ordering at the team dinner I had to eat to ward off any comments, and if I had gained any weight that day.

Social media gives a great platform to share our lives with friends, but it's important to know that these are not our real lives. That even the "highlight reels" we show others have stories behind them that are heartbreaking. Looking through my social media accounts from my past year is difficult, because through the smiling moments and "Gram-worthy" pictures, there was so much pain. When I look through my friends' accounts and begin to hate myself for having less fun than they are, I remind myself that there's a story behind their pictures. We filter our lives and refuse to give the full story. We spend so much time figuring out perfect captions that don't include the story behind what happened. I'm tired of hiding my true feelings over social media, and it's time that we start being real.

I'm challenging myself to be real. While I will still probably post mostly "highlight reel" moments (though if I get a picture of a sad moment, I'll consider posting that), I refuse to use a quirky caption to frame it in a new, happy light if that's not how I experienced it. I hope you can try the same and remember that next time you scroll through your News Feed.