As you progress through your food you notice the bottle of “Fancy Ketchup” on the table accompanied by an assortment of other friendly condiments. You think to yourself, “Man my meal could certainly use some ketchup, and if this ketchup is half as fancy as it says, I am in for a real treat.” So you grab the bottle and gently open the top just above your plate and then… it happens.

As if out of nowhere the ketchup is shooting out lightning fast absolutely drenching every inch of your plate. You react by jerking back as fast as possible, however this leads to the ketchup spreading to you pants and all over your shoes. Now you realize this is the worst part of a terrible day. A day of constant obstacles and irritation, a day where you slept through one class and forgot homework for another, a day where you trip up the stairs to another class and through it all you’ve remained calm. But suddenly there is ketchup in your socks and all of the effort you’ve put into keeping your cool is all for naught as let out the loudest, most aggravated scream of frustration just so you can have that quick moment of relief. You think to yourself that it's just your luck and there's no way you could prevent it from happening.

Well there is a way to prevent it, you see this phenomenon is called “Priming” an act of sabotage that some students will use to ruin the day of one another. “Priming” is where one will invert a plastic ketchup bottle and squeeze the sides until all of the contents are forced to the sealed opening so that in the event of eventual opening all of the ketchup is forced out at uncontrollable speeds. Students, when asked about priming had this to say.

“I honestly just felt hardcore betrayed.”

“It just makes me go—*Loud grunt*”

“I just want to cry.”

“I just want to find who did it and tell them that they broke my heart.”

No one is safe from priming, not you or your friends and loved ones. The only thing we can do is raise awareness, warn everyone you eat with, both people you like and despise, because the truth of the matter is that no one deserves ketchup in their shoes. Be careful which condiments you use, always open ketchup bottles with the top facing upward and never, ever point a primed bottle at another person. Beware that priming is something that is prevalent in cafeterias all over the world so never let your guard down. Please do whatever you can to just stay ketchup free out there, and remember the world is a cruel place it will not show you mercy, because the world is just one big ketchup bottle, primed and ready to absolutely ruin your day.

Stay safe out there folks.

#stoppriming2016