Hey New Mom, You're Doing GREAT
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Hey New Mom, You're Doing GREAT

You do not have to have it all together, all the time.

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Hey New Mom, You're Doing GREAT
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You walk into this weight room that you've never been in before, this environment that you've never experienced, and people are freaking losing their minds. It's loud, chaotic, and you're not really sure what that smell is or why people are rubbing white powder all over their hands (kinda reminds you of Scarface). Then some guy with a big, greasy mustache starts screaming so loud in your face that his neck veins look like earthworms. He nudges you towards this contraption holding a metal bar with several (large) plates on each side. You look to your right and see these huge Chris Hemsworth looking men that have clearly been in this situation before, squatting like it's second nature. Breathe out, down, bounce off the calves, up, breathe in, take a sec, breathe out, and so on. Your hands are shaking but there is no turning back now. That mustache guy is so intense his head has now turned purple and he looks like the Kool-Aid man. You're afraid. You definitely do not know what you're doing. You feel like everyone else is looking at you, expecting you to lift that bar and squat it like it's second nature. It should come easily to you right? You aren't even sure you can lift it. Can you really do this? Do you really have a choice but to do it? Will anyone be there for you if you fall?

In my imaginative mind and after paying attention for a while, this is what being a New Mom seems like to me.

I love to people watch. It's actually one of my favorite pastimes. Especially in Walmart. Don't you dare think ill of me cause you do it too.

When I do realize when to shut my mouth and observe, I pick up on so much that I normally miss. Take my wife for example: I've loved this girl since before I can remember. She isn't perfect, but she has so much to love about her. Last year, in July, we welcomed our first kid into this world. She did so good in labor. We left the hospital with Graham after a few sleepless days, carrying more questions than luggage.

And so began parenthood. Or should I say, so began her run at parenthood. Oh yeah, I heated up bottles, changed diapers, did some things here and there. But she's the Mom. She's got this right? It just comes natural.

In my "perfect" vision of what being a parent would be like, I saw Danielle, getting up an hour before the day to do her quiet time, have some coffee, throw her hair up, and get down to it. She had the diaper bag packed, always containing whatever you could need. Diapers, wipes, butt cream, baby Tylenol, those amazing apple-strawberry puffs, sippy cup, etc. I knew she'd always have a smile on her face, always have a clean bottle, always know what to do or how to take care of our little man. Because it came natural. Being a Mom for a woman is like breathing.

Except that's not how it is. That's not how it is at all. Sure I think it's safe to say that for some maybe it comes easier, but that's not to say that caring for a tiny human, who literally relies on you for EVERYTHING, is some easy adjustment.

Through Danielle, my eyes have been opened. I see so many New Moms out there who feel like failures because of the standards put on them. They feel like because they can't keep their child from crying in Wal-Mart that they've failed. They feel like because they can't find pajamas because of the piled-up laundry that they've failed. They feel like because they can't breastfeed, they can't naturally feed their child, that they've failed. They feel like because they sit in their tub at night, crying for no reason other than hoping they are raising this child right, that they've failed. A "real" Mom would have this altogether. A "real" Mom wouldn't even need coffee for this. A "real" Mom wouldn't be calling her Mom 5 times a day to ask a vast array of questions. A "real" Mom wouldn't be questioning herself.

Somewhere along the line we have decided to break down instead of lift up. Certainly I have not been perfect with my wife, but I am trying to do better. I see what she goes through, how she lays it all down on the line for our little man. And I'm beyond grateful that she would give up her life for him.

In the book of Philippians, in Chapter 4, Paul talks about personally knowing what it's like to make it through life in the hard times and in the good. As a New Mom, there is so much good! And so much new stuff going on. First teeth, words, crawling, walking, funny little things like clapping during the Friends themesong (Oh yeah) to discovering they LOVE goats, there is so much new and good. But there is also a lot of hard. In perhaps the most misquoted, misunderstood verse in the Bible, Paul explains why he can make it through any situation.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

A lot of people think that means that I can fly with Jesus, or I can ace this test with Jesus, or I can afford this mortgage with Jesus, but that's simply a misunderstanding of the context. Paul is saying in the good times or bad, I can make it through because of Jesus.

New Mom... so can you.

But it's not just Christ who should be supporting them. New Moms have such a heavy weight on their shoulders, most of the time without a spotter. I look around and see so many mothers without a support system. And while there are plenty of mothers who have and are raising children on their own, it never hurts to have people in your corner, rooting you on. Whether you are the husband/father (you should be freaking supporting them anyway!), the parents or in-laws, or another friend or family member, let's surround these New Moms with love and help, not glaring at them when they don't know how to keep their child quiet during the prayer (I'm looking at you Cathy).

One day you're going to wake up and notice that either your wife/daughter/friend/cousin/niece/daughter-in-law is actually a really good mom. And they are going to be able to juggle a baby, a toddler, and homework all at the same time, but only if Paw Patrol is on. But encouragement along the way (that means every day) and putting our trust and hope in the right people and things will help this process along.

You will be a good mom. You are a good mom.

Even though that laundry pile is half-way to the ceiling.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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