We all have that one friend who labels herself as a b*tch and wears that label with pride. She says things like "That's just the way I am," or "I'm just honest!" when she is flat out rude or when she makes fun of people she considers her friends. And somehow, she still has friends. How's that possible? Are they afraid to get on her bad side? Are they just as mean? Do they think it's funny? Especially if you've grown up with someone like this, you tend to make excuses for their meanness. You say things like, "Oh that's just the way she is," or "She's just honest!" when she says something totally inappropriate or when you hear that she was talking about you behind your back.

I've been that friend, and I didn't think it was funny, and I'm not mean, but it did take me a long time to realize that these kinds of people are extremely toxic. Maybe this made her cool or edgy or popular in high school, and she may even float through college being this way, but the real world has no time for mean people. I eventually realized, neither do I.

I can attest to the fact that many girls in my elementary school did not seem to get the message of "Mean Girls," and some idolized "Gossip Girl's"Blair Waldorf for more than her fashion. However, Blair Waldorf and Regina George are some of the least confident female characters to come out of the last 10 years. People tend to not see that part, and that's true of mean girls in real life as well. I haven't been perfect—in early high school my low self-esteem and anxiety often manifested itself through mean comments to my peers, and that really sucks, looking back. However, now at age 21, after meeting so many different people in my life and seeing the struggles others have been through, I could not imagine being rude to people for no reason or carrying myself with a permanent scowl on my face. If you're an adult and still don't realize that, then you need to wake up. Just because someone is always putting others down, it doesn't mean that they really think they are better than that person. In fact, it is usually the opposite.

The women I know that flaunt their b*tchy ways and tweet about how they're too crazy to have a boyfriend are only doing so to compensate for something much, much deeper. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is certainly not the end-all be-all of being a woman, but when you really actually are too mean for anyone to want to spend time with you, then that's a real, actual problem. Confidence is extremely sexy, but young women are often taught that being a b*tch is equivalent to being confident. That needs to change. Maybe this would be more apparent if women didn't constantly pit against one another, but we need to stop viewing women in charge as being bossy, and in turn, show our fellow women and generations to come that being nice does not make you weak.

To be truly confident, you need to appreciate your own talents and realize your worth regardless of others. And lastly, be happy for other people, especially your friends. Even if you haven't had sex in three months, be happy for your friends who are in stable relationships. If you got denied from the job you wanted, don't take it out on your friend who just landed her dream job. The world is not out to get you, so don't set out to get the world. Just be nice.