It wasn't meant to be.
It wasn't destiny.
You tried, he didn't.
He didn't want to see you for you. That's not your problem. He didn't laugh at your jokes, but everybody else does? Yeah, again not your problem so stop trying to figure out why.
I hate to break it to you, but he's probably hooked on someone else. And he's judging you based on her. You aren't her and never will be. So stop trying to measure up to a memory. You can't compete with nostalgia because it's not real. Just like his feelings for you.
If you couldn't be yourself around him, it's not going to work. Every time that you showed flashes of yourself and he judged you harshly. He's got more self-loathing than he knows what to do with.
He didn't adore you, In fact, I think you probably annoyed him more than anything else. He didn't respect you.
If you aren't feeling the love he's not yours. If you feel like you're a placeholder, a piece of bread to a starving beast always on the lookout for his next meal, he's not yours.
Sure. You had fun, but it wasn't right. If you would be ashamed to bring him home, based solely on his actions and disrespectful demeanor, then you don't need to bring him home. He doesn't belong with you. Wish him the best. Then move on.
He was a liferaft in an ocean of self-doubt. You tried your hardest and he didn't want to try at all. He used you, you used him. You both had no one else.
It's a tale as old as time. And he believed in happily ever afters where you can stop working. I believe in editing. I also believe that fairy tales don't end, there is horror after horror and happiness after happiness, the only happy ending is one that hasn't ended yet, or is manipulated by the human desire for perfection.
Love is messy. Find someone that wants to play in the mud with you, and help you clean it off. Don't settle for the one that leaves you behind in the dust.
He's not going to change. Please don't believe that. He's just not right for you. The reason why this hurts right now is because you can't see the sun rising. You had to get left in the dirt, cold and alone to find someone to brush you off and treasure you like the rare gem that you are.
