I Am Feeling Helpless In A Dying World

I Am Feeling Helpless In A Dying World

My personal expression of how the news of impending mass global destruction and devastation has impacted me.


To any reading this—my words and thoughts here are less informative than they are expressive. I really just wanted to expose my own feelings to others as a way of making you think or just showing you how I have been processing the latest in environmental news.

For the past week or so, I've spent days thinking about the impending 'end of the world' that is apparently fast approaching. This news that we have environmentally doomed ourselves isn't anything super new, but for some reason, it has been on my mind a lot lately. The other day I even asked my roommates about it and they seem to share the same grim outlook that many are saying is just a matter of a time until it happens. It breaks my heart in such a profound way and I can only imagine that all of the other college students and young people of the world feel at least somewhat as hopeless as I have been feeling lately.

From the perspective of a college student, I feel like there is no point in anything I'm doing now because it all seems futile in the face of the approaching apocalypse. I have so many aspirations and goals for my future that don't even seem worth pursuing sometimes. I hope that children can stay naive of this climatic catastrophe for as long as possible.

And what of the people, cultures, and places that will be lost once the sea level rises beyond an amount that is no longer manageable? Places like Venice and Shanghai, or even places here in the United States like Charleston and New Orleans, that will still be impacted by immense flooding even if we as a global community are able to slow down rising temperatures. All of the history, monuments, living areas that have evolved over the past centuries- gone in a much shorter amount of time.

I imagine an ant hill and how long it must have taken them to construct it. They're all so small and yet they have still managed to craft an entire network and colony that can sometimes stand over a foot above the ground. Yet, a child could easily kick it over and destroy it all in an instant. I feel like we are those ants—we have spent so long creating and evolving humanity as we know it and now it seems it will all be wiped away. Thousands of years of work just toppled over so quickly. I've never felt more helpless in the shadow of a future I don't think I can control like I thought I could anymore.

The salt to this growing wound is the leadership of our own country. They consistently deny that anything will happen while it is already happening. I want to scream in their faces, "YOU are sentencing us all to death", but I doubt they would care. Others have screamed in their faces and obviously, it hasn't helped. Of course, we can vote and put new people who will listen to our cries and attempt to fix what we have all so systematically destroyed. But is it too late? They say it is still possible to save the world, but how realistic is it really? I see and read all these articles predicting different outcomes and possibilities, but I don't even know which ones to believe anymore.

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Starbucks

This is my oh so wonderful experience at Starbucks during the week of midterms.


When I usually go to Starbucks, I typically get the same type of drinks: carmel macchiato, chai tea latte, chestnut praline chai tea latte (which sadly is only a holiday drink), or a shaken black tea lemonade with light ice. However, sometimes a person just gets bored drinking the same three drinks over and over, so I thought, "Hey! lets get out of our comfort zone here pal and try something new." So I did I walked my tired stressed out self to Starbucks 10 minutes before my next class and ordered a tall cinnamon shortbread latte, I mean the description and other peoples comments about it made it sound super good.


As I was waiting for my drink I noticed that one of the baristas was having some issues with some type of syrup, but I thought that they would refill it and then add what they need, and that one probably wasn't even mine. When they did that, I saw them get a new jug of syrup and I went back onto my phone and to try and plan how I was going to get through this midterms week.

Quick info about midterms: everyone is dead, and everyone is stressed. Us college students literally live off of caffeine during midterms week. If you're lucky like me you are at school from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m., so the caffeine is really needed.


Now soon after I saw the new jug come, my name was called. I grabbed my drink and walked like the walking zombie I was to my next class. I went in for my first drink I was so excited to have this sweet taste of vanilla, cinnamon and coffee...but what I got was the opposite. It literally tasted like a very burnt somewhat coffee and cinnamon edible without the marijuana affects, or for the non-edible people, a very bad tasting cookie that was missing all the sugar. I was not a happy camper one bit, but I was going to drink it anyway because I payed $4 for this coffee. I struggled drinking this during my writing class because it tasted terrible, but then out of no where I got this hit of sweet — I was drinking the sweet vanilla and the sweet cinnamon part of my drink minus the majority of the coffee since I was 3/4 done with the drink. I was seriously crying on the inside because I didn't get to enjoy this drink the way I needed.


Then the realization hit me: 1. They probably didn't add in the missing parts of the syrup once it got refilled since they suddenly got busy. 2. They did not stir that drink one bit because all the syrup was literally at the bottom of the cup. If they did these, then the problem wouldn't have happened.

This is not the first time this has happened to me having all the syrup at the bottom of the cup at a Starbucks. Its not like I am able to swish it around myself because it is full to the top and I don't want hot coffee poured or splashed on my hand. Also, most people are on-the-go while they are drinking their coffee or doing other things. I have only had this issue at Starbucks and never at any other place have I had this issue like Anthem Coffee.

So can Starbucks just agree to always mix their drinks? So that the zombie college kids during midterms have good coffee to keep them alive?


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