I'm the queen of rash decisions. When it comes to the "heat of the moment" I'm always going to be the first one to make a drastic call. Some say it's my personality, and others say it's the sheer fact of having zero patience. Honestly, it's probably a little mixture of the two. But take it from me — making decisions in the heat of the moment will come back to haunt you. I know firsthand.
Here at Odyssey, we have the luxury of being able to write about what bothers us when it bothers us no matter the topic on a national platform.
Around two years ago my boyfriend broke up with me and while hysterically crying in my bed alongside bottles and bottles of wine, I wrote my most iconic article: To The Boy Who Never Really Loved Me.
With mascara running down my face and my best friend sitting by my side, she encouraged me to do what I was best — just tear him to shreds through words. Line after line I poured my heart out talking about our relationship. All the wrongs and the rights, the ups and the downs, and practically every thing else you could possibly imagine, I wrote.
Little college sophomore year me did not realize how immature this all was.
Yes, I was hurting, putting our problems and my heartbreak on a computer screen for the world to see was something I did not need to do.
While I realize all this now, two years older, I'm thankful for my small slip in judgment for the sheer response granted after this article was published.
Apparently, my sad words hit a spot in the hearts of legitimately thousands upon thousands of college aged girls. Facebook message after Facebook messaged flooded my inbox telling me that what I wrote what was what they were unable to write. They found solstice in knowing some girl had felt the same exact way as them. I only wish I could personally tell every heartbroken girl that "Hey, it will be okay."
With each day that goes by, you'll slowly forget about him. His voice won't follow you around anymore and things will stop smelling like him. Seeing his friends talk about him on social media won't fill you with rage and realizing he's moved on will make you happy because it's no longer a crushing part of your life. Passing him on the street will still make you nearly have a heart attack — but instead, you'll continue walking with your head high.
Please know this will happen, it takes time though.
That's hands down the best part of writing for Odyssey — touching the lives of everyone and anyone who has been in your same spot.
But for every nice message I receive, a mean one would follow. Someone told me I should not have fallen in love in six months — or that it was my fault even though they knew absolutely nothing about my situation.
Realizing this is realizing something even bigger, though. Thinking before you make any decision is something we don't take seriously enough anymore. In the age of technology, we have an, "I'll do it now and ask for forgiveness later," mindset instead of asking for permission first.
Every time I walk into a bar, party, meeting, internship, class, work, restaurant and so on — I would say my name followed by "oh sh*t, you wrote that article about your ex."
And I now proudly say, "Yes I did," but it doesn't void the once-made statement. My future career, internships and even relationships will be tainted by that five paragraph article I so eagerly wanted to be published. I don't regret a single word I wrote but sometimes, I wish I thought before I did things differently.
I wish I could have stepped back and realized the impact of my words, thoughts, and actions.