I'm guilty.

I'm guilty of looking for love in a place where it's not. I'm guilty of trying to keep a connection alive when it's just holding on by a string. I'm guilty of trying too hard. Trying too hard to be enough for someone that didn't see my worth or value.

Some say people don't like "try-hards." I disagree.

The right person will come along that will see that I'm trying hard and appreciate all the effort I'm putting and do the same for me. I didn't have this mentality before, not at all, it's something that I've developed due to heartache.

It can get tiring right? Going through the whole getting to know a person phase. What's their favorite food?! What's their favorite movie?! What do they like to do on the weekend?! All for the 'connection' to last two to three business days. Then onto the next one. And you repeat the whole process over again, and again, and again.

But then there comes a person who is different. These are the ones you have to watch out for. They should really wear a warning label that states, "CAUTION: I like you and I may make you fall for me, I'll say all the right things, make you feel like you're on Cloud 9, but my feelings may change in the future." And those are the scariest. You'll have your guard up because you've been hurt in the past and don't want to repeat these events. However, they'll do all the right things, say the sweetest of nothings, treat you like the blessing that you are, only to leave you with a bigger hole in your heart than what you started out with before.

You start to over analyze every situation. Was I the reason that their feelings weren't reciprocated anymore? Did I say something wrong? Did I get boring? Did I do something that they weren't fond of? What's wrong with me? To answer simply, absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Never think that is the case because questioning your self-worth will get you nowhere.

Crying is good. Crying a lot is really good. Release all that pain and anger you have stored inside of you. Do you want to go break a vase? Go break it. You want to just bundle yourself up in a burrito and shut yourself out from the world from a day. Do it. Cope in the way you want to cope in. Nobody can judge you for the way you wish to deal with heartache. I promise you, after this pain and everything you learn about yourself from this experience, you are a changed person.

Heartache can be the worst thing for your soul, but the slow recovery that comes after, you learn that you're so much stronger and independent than ever before.

The guy that broke my heart? I wish him the best in whatever he does. I don't wish him any harm nor for him to feel the pain I felt. I thank him for making me realize that pain is okay, its temporary, just like his love. There will be someone out there that will not make me question my worth. Someone who will work so hard to get through the walls I've built and show me that it's okay to be vulnerable.

Until then, I say, love yourself, love your friends, love your youth, love the experiences you stumble upon. Because in then, you're all you have. Nobody can take that from you.