Breakups are an ugly, inevitable part of life. Sometimes you see them coming, and sometimes you don't.
You carry them like bricks in a backpack.
They strip you down to your barest parts, and you feel humiliated by how much of your life you gave to the other person. You feel ashamed of social media posts and how much they were a part of your day-to-day routine.
But what if you weren't? What if you took each moment of all the months and years you have spent together and allowed it to be something else?
Sometimes people come into your life in a season of need. They pick you up from the shattered pieces of your self-worth and rebuild you.
They bring joy and excitement back into your life.
They teach you confidence and bravery, and they take away things like insecurity and anxiety.
They make you a better you. They made you a better you…
Sometimes, the hardest part of ending a relationship is grieving the loss of a friendship. It's changing your daily routine from regular phone calls, texts and seeing someone to not communicating with them at all.
It's often abrupt — no final words or emotions expressed, just a sad and pitiful end to something you put so much of yourself in.
Regardless of how much it hurts you, don't forget all the things it taught you.
You can be sad and still come out on top.
You can be heartbroken whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. Never forget that it hurts both people.
It's a loss either way. It hurts either way.
You're each facing the same loss. Even if the other person expresses that differently, it doesn't mean they didn't care for you or that they don't still care.
It hurts to be hurt and it hurts to hurt someone else.
There's no true way to come out unscathed. But instead of letting it make you bitter, remember what it gave you. Remember what it taught you.
I don't know if anyone told you, but it's OK to love the wrong people.
It's OK to give pieces of yourself where you didn't use to.
It's OK to let your walls come down, if only for a moment.
Even if it's the wrong person. Even if it isn't the right kind of love.
You can still give yourself permission because there are still lessons to be learned.
You go through it and you grow through it.
You recognize that there were flaws and things were not perfect, but you realize that it also made your heart so much more accepting and open to new things. It made you a warmer, more positive and self-assured person.
And if you can experience something as remarkable as a change of heart, you can truly do anything.
It's OK to be sad, though.
The thing about feelings is that it's OK to feel them.
And it's OK to not be OK.
Because eventually, you will be… and what a remarkable moment that will be.