I was broken up with for the first time when I was 14 and thought that my life was going to end. I was laying on my mother's bed crying when she gave me this advice — advice to this day I tell myself, advice I tell my friends when their hearts get broken, advice I will tell my future daughter when she claims her life is ending.
"Some boys are put in your life to break up with you. Some boys are put in your life so you can break up with them," my mother said, "with each person who passes through your life you learn the qualities you like about them and would like to see in your future soulmate. Equally as important, you learn the qualities you do not ever want your soulmate to have."
She didn't tell me my failed relationship was a waste of time. She also didn't tell me she wished my heart would have never been broken.
They were all lessons — lessons that are bringing me closer and closer to understanding the type of partner I need, want and deserve in my life.
For a lighthearted example, I have learned I can not be with someone who doesn't understand my need for alone time.
"No, I don't have plans with anyone Friday. No, I do not want plans with you. I like you, but still do not want plans. I want sweatpants and Oreos."
On a more serious note, I've learned I can never be with someone who isn't accepting of those who are different than us. I'm a compassionate person and need someone who is the same in that aspect.
Failed relationships lead you to knowledge that will set you up for a better future relationship. So is it really considered a failed relationship?
With all this being said, take the lessons you've learned, and move on. He might have taught you things you needed to learn about yourself and your future partner, but that's it. He still isn't worth your tears.
"Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for breaking up with me. You've helped shape my standards for my future soulmate. Have a great life." *insert red Cha-Cha dancing lady emoji.
Remember, he taught you something. He was put in your life to break your heart.