Have you ever wondered what you missed while you were tied up with something or someone else?

Let's say you start dating someone and you leave behind this one guy who has proven to be almost perfect. If he never comes back into your life then so what, no harm was done. But what if you are constantly reminded of him or have to see him? That's what sucks.

So to the guy, the one I missed out on, I'm sorry. I hope that you don't miss me or wonder what could've been like I find myself constantly doing, especially these days. Graduation is coming up and you'll be gone and hopefully so will these feelings. I just can't shake the thought or feeling that what we could've had would've been amazing.

You made me laugh. Like really laugh, not that "Oh my, I think you are the cutest boy I've ever seen" laugh, but a real genuine laugh. Since we were freshmen, I've always known you to put a smile on my face, no matter how irritated I was. I'd like to think we'd laugh a lot if we were together, but now I get to laugh at all the jokes we had.

You were there for me. When I was sick, you were there. When I was upset, you were there. When I randomly called, you were there. I know that I would always be able to count on you, but now I get to count on no one being like you.

You fought for me. You literally fought, verbally fought, and stood up for my name. If I were ever in trouble, I know that you would be there to help me out. Now I get to fight these feelings.

You wanted to show me off. Sorry I couldn't reciprocate this, I'm not big on the whole touching thing, but I did like being with you. I can't believe I made a mistake that messed up my chance of having you all in one day. Now I get to show off my regrets.

You made me feel safe. I knew that every time I was with you I could let down my guard and just be myself. Thanks for being so strong inside and out. Now it's time for me to keep myself safe.

You know me. I've been able to tell you anything and everything because I trust you. I know that if we were together, you'd know me better than I could ever know myself. Now I have to make someone know me again.

You liked me for me. The guy I picked over you didn't like me, he liked me for what I came with and as time has passed since things ended with him, I've realized he probably never "loved" me... just the idea of me.

You saw me for who I was, good and bad. I never had to worry if you were going to judge me, if you were going to hurt me, or if you were good enough for me. I knew. I'm just sorry we never got to be great because you know we could've been. I'm sorry I chose to see your flaws brighter than all the amazing things about you. I'm sorry I picked him over you, when I knew he came with a lot of hurt. I'm sorry I was so selfish, you didn't deserve it.

You deserve what you have now. A happy relationship, a bright future, and a heart of gold.

I personally hope you never read this, but if you do please know you were all right... I just wasn't in the place for "right".

Sincerely,

Miss you but know you're doing well.