When someone disrupts my peace, making me feel down, it's noticeable. I stay in bed for most of the day, isolate myself from family, and ignore texts from my friends because I'm too upset to be able to engage in a regular conversation. I don't even have the appetite to eat, either. Only one thing is on my mind, constantly. I'm quiet at the dinner table and deny when someone asks me if everything is okay. Though I want to rant about what's bothering me, I also don't want anyone to know my business; so I just stay quiet and keep it all in. Thank goodness I have this platform to write it all down.
It's hard losing someone you once felt a strong connection with. Time can inevitably change the feelings between you and said person, causing them to drift or lose the spark once you both get completely comfortable with each other. It's even worse when they're becoming distant with you, and closer with someone else. It really makes you think why you weren't good enough, what this person has that you don't, and what really changed between you two. You may desperately try to reignite the connection you both have, but at this point, you feel like you're annoying them. You ignore all their red flags and signs telling you, "it's over, you two should go your separate ways", but it's difficult for you to just accept that. You know you need to block them, for your own sanity, but can't bring yourself to do so. You can't let this person go, even though they've already let go of you.
I wanna have a great summer. I don't want to be in my feelings, I don't want to be stressed over anyone. I just want to feel loved and happy all the time. I know many other young people out there could be reading this, who are just getting out of a relationship or "pre-relationship" and having to deal with the process of getting over someone. I made a personal list in my notes app of thoughts I re-read over and over again, as reminders for this situation.
1. You're wasting your time trying to get a reaction out of someone who isn't bothered by you.
2. Stop getting back cool with people who already crossed you.
3. Never put pressure on someone to act right.
4. Take comfort in the fact that whoever hurt you is now out there wasting someone else's time. Stop posting subs and live your life!
5. Do not allow your loneliness to lower your standards.
6. It takes someone to lose what they had in order to understand how valuable it was.
7. Sometimes you don't get what you want because you deserve better.
8. Don't fight for their attention. If they really care, you shouldn't have to.
9. Your mind has to be stronger than your feelings, or else you're gonna lose yourself.
10. What's hardest for you isn't losing them, it's forgiving yourself for seeing the potential in them, knowing damn well you saw the warning signs and inconsistencies.
11. A person who once begged to be with you is now out here hurting you. It is what it is. And it happens everyday.
12. If your gut is telling you that someone is moving funny, just trust it.
13. You miss out on a lot just by not being completely confident in yourself as you should have been.
14. The worst battle I ever fought was between what I knew and what I felt.
15. When you find somebody that gives you THAT feeling, it's hard to think about actually moving on to someone else. You literally can't picture another person. But life comes with unexpected turnouts, and you're as young as can be with still a long way to go. It's definitely possible, and will happen.
Words cannot explain how badly I look forward to the feeling of realizing I am finally detached from this person; where I don't think about them as much anymore, they don't make me feel a certain way, and I couldn't care less about what they're doing in life right now. It's so freeing. And I know that day will come, maybe not now, maybe not anytime soon, but eventually it will. And for you, it will too. Some of the thoughts I mentioned on my list really made me see this from a positive perspective and helped me recognize my self worth even more. When you know you haven't done anything wrong to the person who wants to leave, it really does make you reflect upon yourself. But I suggest it's best for you to see it as this: Sometimes people separate themselves from you because your light is too bright for their darkness. If they hurt you, fed you lies and false hope when you were 100% committed to them, then you did not suffer a loss. They did. Always remember that!