What Having A GBF Is Really Like | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

What Having A GBF Is Really Like

He is not a symbol of status, a gold medal, or your source for dating tips.

190
What Having A GBF Is Really Like
Rémi Walle

For those of you who don’t know, GBF stands for Gay Best Friend. There are plenty of movies, television shows, and even books that portray the gay best friend as someone who is overly charismatic with a great sense of fashion and tips to pick up guys. What these various media outlets fail to tell their audiences is that the gay best friend does not have a life consisting solely of happiness and rainbows (no pun intended).

I am not gay, so my understanding of what it’s like to be gay is only secondhand. However, I myself have a best friend who is gay, who knows of the harsh life he is forced to live due to his sexuality. My best friend never fully came out to me because he assumed I had already known. He confided in a close friend of his, confessing his true self, and this same person had spread the secret-- information that had not yet wanted to be released. Word of my best friend’s open sexuality had reached an older group of boys with closed minds, leaving them to slander him in the harshest of ways. They spread rumors about him, treated his other friends poorly, and called him “queer” and “faggot” to his face, as if they were welcome greetings. Where was the protection he deserved, and where was the superhero that the movies had promised?

Coming out at a younger age seems significantly more difficult than coming out at an older age. In high school, people are still maturing and there isn't a very large selection of eligible bachelors. What the books don’t tell you is that sometimes the love interest of the GBF isn’t gay. Yes, my best friend fell in love with a straight boy and there wasn’t one thing I could do about it. Sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with, and in this case it came with extra damage. The entirety of their on and off relationship totaled one year; one year of love, lust, passion, and betrayal. The other person believed just because my best friend is gay, he could do whatever he wanted because my best friend would still love him. What I can tell you firsthand is acquiring feelings for someone who is interested in a solely physical relationship is detrimental. The TV shows don’t tell you about the heartache, they only tell of the happy endings.

The mall should be a place for my best friend to shop without being dragged by girls who find his fashion sense of superior taste. Trying on clothes is something he wants to do by himself, or with me. I can’t tell you how many times my best friend has been asked by other girls to go shopping to “help them pick out clothes” and “hold their bags.” I can assure you that my best friend is not your ticket to popularity. You do not become more “cultured” by hanging out with a gay person. Conversely, it is not your right to discriminate against those in the gay community. Do not blame his sexual orientation on his mismatched clothing. He is not a symbol of status, a gold medal, or your source for dating tips.

Why doesn’t my best friend refer to me as his straight best friend? It is because my sexuality does not define who I am , and his shouldn’t either. The social construct of the GBF created by the guilty best friend counterpart emulates a lack of respect and an embrace of stereotypes. If you’ve noticed, I haven’t called my best friend my GBF once- it is a secretion of tolerance and esteem. To me, my best friend is a Sia-loving drummer, a Steven Universe enthusiast, and most importantly, a person.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

The Unwritten Rules Of "Talking"

What is "talking?" How does one "talk?"

6618
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774896
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

1965
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments