This is something that I've only begun to realize about myself and I honestly don't know how I feel about it. I always thought that I was a person that was okay being vulnerable and open. I never wanted to let the things that I've gone through define me so I almost offered them up for free when I first met people, which hasn't always been the best first impression to make. I thought that made me an emotionally vulnerable person and maybe on some level, it does, but definitely not entirely. So here's my issue:

I have a problem with crying.

I never really thought about this all that much because I do cry. It was only when I was talking to a friend recently that I realized that the way that I conceptualize myself when I do cry is probably not the healthiest.

Looking back at my childhood I cried and it was rare if someone ever told me to stop. However, it was more frequent for me to be told that the decisions that I made were emotional ones instead of logical. This always made me feel like I wasn't entitled to my own thoughts or decisions. In turn, it has made me feel like I am overreacting to certain situations, which then causes me to ask for people's permission on how I should feel.

This is just incorrect on every level. Everyone is entitled to any way that they feel because whatever they are going through is real to them.

That being said that is a concept that I'm constantly struggling with. In turn, I often don't like to cry in front of other people, especially men. I definitely have and probably will continue to, but there is just something about someone seeing me in a space of what I consider to be a weakness, for myself, that scares me. I often get overwhelmed and would just rather leave than try to validate anything that I'm feeling. But that is something that I am always trying to work on: I don't have to validate anything to anybody.

That goes for everyone else as well. When I see my friends cry my first instinct is to try to comfort them so that they stop. But the thing is, they shouldn't stop. They should experience any type of emotion that they are going through and let it all out. I and no one else should stand in the way of that.

We're all gonna cry. Whether it is over something big or small I can ensure you that it will happen. So feel comfortable crying because you have every right to.