For most, admitting the fact that you have anxiety is the hardest part of having anxiety. For me, it wasn’t until I realized that my anxiety was affecting my everyday relationships that I decided that pursuing medical help was the route I wanted to take. It was the hardest step, but ultimately, I had to choose whether I wanted to live my life constantly unsure and uneasy, or if I wanted to be able to feel whole again.

I still struggle every single day. I didn’t just go to the doctor one day and get prescribed a medication that suddenly made everything all better. To be honest, I still wake up every day dreading having to take two small pills. For the longest time, it was hard to admit that my anxiety wasn’t something I could just avoid or turn off on my own.

I had to question what would be harder to swallow: a pill or my pride?

The truth is that I spent almost my entire day in my head overanalyzing things. It could be something as simple as what someone said to me earlier to why someone did or didn't sit next to me in class.

Anxiety turned me into a person that even I had trouble recognizing, which made me feel sorry for those around me because I couldn’t imagine what it is they could possibly be thinking about me. Truth is, I’m still hard to recognize sometimes. I see that person on my weakest days, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not strong.

I couldn't understand how I could be a huge people person and also have so much anxiety built up all the time. Despite the fact that I'm sometimes a contradiction of myself, I've learned that it's just who I am.

Anxiety follows me every day, but I’m prepared to manage it when it lurks upon me. Whether it be a big exam or an interview, I know better now what steps I can take that will avoid me coming into contact with my anxiety. Anxiety is something that I have, but not who I am.

I am much more than my anxiety.

Although there are times where my anxiety still finds its’ way into my life, that doesn’t mean that I’ve lost the battle. Winning the battle doesn’t mean you’ve rid your anxiety completely, it means that you’re strong enough to accept that this is what you have, but not who you are.

Living with anxiety was a concept that alone could’ve sent me into a full-on anxiety attack, but now, I live comfortably knowing that I’m ready for whatever life, or my anxiety, throws at me.