Okay so maybe hatedis a strong word, but freshman year I found that I wasn't nearly as excited about holiday break as I thought I would be. At first I thought it might just be the result of getting older and not experiencing the magic of Christmas as I did when I was younger. You see, I love my family and my beautiful little beach-nestled hometown but in my mind there wasn’t all that much that I was aching to go back to. Like many other college students, I had packed up my stuff and started a new life in Gainesville. I’d changed a lot as a person and sometimes didn’t even recognize the girl I was back in high school. So while some of my former classmates were reminiscing about Friday night football games and already planning high school reunions, I was impatiently planning trips to visit my roommates and sorority sisters. And maybe it was my own fault for just not keeping in touch with my high school friends but whenever I think back on it I presume that maybe it was for the best. If I’d changed so much as a person, then maybe the people I was friends with before would not compliment the person I was striving to be.

However, of course, in a small town like mine it's pretty normal to run into them. I mean we've all been there: no makeup and messy bun, walking around Publix with your mom when you turn down an aisle and come face to face with that one high school friend. Maybe you guys used to be super close or maybe even frenemies but nevertheless you awkwardly wave to each other, you may even pretend to care and ask them about college, mutual friends or life in general. Then you part ways, and if your mom is anything like mine, she'll make a comment about why you don't see them anymore and you'll come up with some excuse that will satisfy her. And if you're anything like me, you'll go home and think about the clumsy encounter and begin to doubt what you're doing. You might wonder about what it would have been like if you'd stayed in closer touch with all your friends and you may even consider planning a little hangout with then. You go through with it and it's kind of awkward and kind of fun, but you realize that things will never go back to how they used to be and sadly or not so sadly that's okay with you. So now fast forward to today, holiday break is approaching quickly and I don't find myself in the same rut I was in last year. I've come to terms with the friendships that have faded and am satisfied with the ones that have endured.

I never meant to say that was all bad last year, because I did find joy and comfort in baking cookies with my grandma, going on outrageous shopping sprees with my mom and sister, and squeezing in an early morning fishing trip with my dad. So this year instead of stressing about the "could have beens" and your old high school friends, just enjoy this time with your family. Spend hours watching mushy Hallmark Christmas movies and appreciate being embarrassed by the fact that your dad is pretty much Clark Griswold when hanging Christmas lights. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't hategoing home for Christmas last year, I hated being reminded of the person I used to be. Once I realized that many of my friends would inescapably remain in my past as “old high school friends” I understood that those relationships didn’t define who I am today and then I became excited about the prospect of going home and showing them who I had become in their absence.