Hasan Minhaj's Best Lines from Correspondents' Dinner

Hasan Minhaj's Best Lines from Correspondents' Dinner

"Frederick Douglass isn't here and that's because he's dead - someone please tell the President."

Hasan Minhaj, Senior Correspondent for The Daily Show on Comedy Central, gave an incredible speech Saturday night at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Here are some of the best one-liners from his speech. Check out the full speech here.

He opened his speech with:

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the series finale of the White House Correspondents' Dinner."

On being the host:

"No one wanted to do this so of course it lands in the hands of an immigrant."

On Donald Trump not attending:

"We got to address the elephant that's not in the room...the leader of our country is not here - and that's because he lives in Moscow, that's a very long flight."


"For the nine people watching on C-SPAN, there also was another elephant in the room, but Donald Trump, Jr. shot it and cut off its tail."

On Donald Trump golfing:

"Do you want to know what he's not doing when he's golfing...being President."

On Donald Trump not drinking:

"That means every statement, every interview, every tweet - completely sober."

"Who is tweeting at 3 a.m. sober...Donald Trump because its 10 a.m. in Russia - those are business hours."

On being perfect:

"In the age of Trump, I know that you guys have to be more perfect now more than ever because you are how the President gets his news."

On being asked not to talk about the President in his absence:

"Do I come up here and just try to fit in and not ruffle any feathers, or do I say what I really feel?"

On the First Amendment:

"The man who tweets everything that enters his head, refuses to acknowledge the amendment that allows him to do it."

"I'm proud that all of us are here tonight to defend that right even if the man in the White House never would."

On the stress of White House news:

"The news coming out of the White House is so stressful, I've been watching House of Cards just to relax."

On Education Secretary Betsy DeVos:

"Every morning Betsy DeVos is up at 5 a.m. putting her children on their flight to school, so don't you tell me she's out of touch."

On Energy Secretary Rick Perry:

"Has anyone seen Rick Perry since he became Energy Secretary...I have a feeling he's sitting in a room full of plutonium waiting to become Spider-Man."

On Frederick Douglass:

"Frederick Douglass isn't here and that's because he's dead - someone please tell the President."

On election night coverage:

"Unlike Anderson Cooper's bone structure, you guys have been far from perfect."


"I had a lot more MSNBC jokes but I don't want to ramble on or I might get a show on MSNBC."


"I'm not going to call you fake news, but not everything is breaking news."

"Every time I watch CNN it feels like you're assigning me homework: 'is Trump a Russian spy...tell us, tweet at AC360' - no you tell me, I'm watching the news."

Cover Image Credit: http://static.politico.com/dims4/default/38b1224/2147483647/resize/1160x%3E/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.politico.com%2F36%2F86%2Fc4c1c26245ae88d2add7eb972151%2F20170411-hasan-minhaj-ap.jpg

Popular Right Now

8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

From One Nerd To Another

My contemplation of the complexities between different forms of art.


Aside from reading Guy Harrison's guide to eliminating scientific ignorance called, "At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life" and, "The Breakthrough: Immunotherapy and the Race to Cure Cancer" by Charles Graeber, an informative and emotional historical account explaining the potential use of our own immune systems to cure cancer, I read articles and worked on my own writing in order to keep learning while enjoying my winter break back in December. I also took a trip to the Guggenheim Museum.

I wish I was artistic. Generally, I walk through museums in awe of what artists can do. The colors and dainty details simultaneously inspire me and remind me of what little talent I posses holding a paintbrush. Walking through the Guggenheim was no exception. Most of the pieces are done by Hilma af Klint, a 20th-century Swedish artist expressing her beliefs and curiosity about the universe through her abstract painting. I was mostly at the exhibit to appease my mom (a K - 8th-grade art teacher), but as we continued to look at each piece and read their descriptions, I slowly began to appreciate them and their underlying meanings.

I like writing that integrates symbols, double meanings, and metaphors into its message because I think that the best works of art are the ones that have to be sought after. If the writer simply tells you exactly what they were thinking and how their words should be interpreted, there's no room for imagination. An unpopular opinion in high school was that reading "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne was fun. Well, I thought it was. At the beginning of the book, there's a scene where Hawthorne describes a wild rosebush that sits just outside of the community prison. As you read, you are free to decide whether it's an image of morality, the last taste of freedom and natural beauty for criminals walking toward their doom, or a symbol of the relationship between the Puritans with their prison-like expectations and Hester, the main character, who blossoms into herself throughout the novel. Whichever one you think it is doesn't matter, the point is that the rosebush can symbolize whatever you want it to. It's the same with paintings - they can be interpreted however you want them to be.

As we walked through the building, its spiral design leading us further and further upwards, we were able to catch glimpses of af Klint's life through the strokes of her brush. My favorite of her collections was one titled, "Evolution." As a science nerd myself, the idea that the story of our existence was being incorporated into art intrigued me. One piece represented the eras of geological time through her use of spirals and snails colored abstractly. She clued you into the story she was telling by using different colors and tones to represent different periods. It felt like reading "The Scarlet Letter" and my biology textbook at the same time. Maybe that sounds like the worst thing ever, but to me it was heaven. Art isn't just art and science isn't just science. Aspects of different studies coexist and join together to form something amazing that will speak to even the most untalented patron walking through the museum halls.

Related Content

Facebook Comments