Has Social Media Ruined Our Ability To Connect?

Has Social Media Ruined Our Ability To Connect?

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.
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The modern dating world is driven by social media and communication primarily exists through the use of technology. When you can easily get a date just by swiping your phone screen or following someone on Instagram it becomes too easy to skip the wooing that used to be so important in dating.

The romance seems to have dissipated into pixelated LED lights and been swept away in the vast abyss that is social media. There is no more courting, no more earning and there seems to be a lack of motivation to impress. We’ve become so used to instant gratification and ease of communication that in our dating world, real love seems to have gone extinct. I just wonder, what happened to it?

When our grandparents were dating, it was customary to court someone you were interested in. Maybe I’m old fashioned or a hopeless romantic, but a certain level of respect in a suitor’s words and actions would go a long way nowadays. I’m not saying we need to revert back to sexist ideals that strictly define the roles of men and women in relationships, not at all. I think one of the most amazing things about the Millennial generation is how open and accepting of all types of relationships we have become.

I do, however, think that if you are pursuing someone, you should recognize that you are trying to earn their attention. You’re trying to convince them to give you their time, something undeniably valuable in this fast, unpredictable life. So, I don’t know where it got lost in translation, but coming at someone with aggressive, overtly sexual comments does absolutely nothing in convincing them to even acknowledge you, nevertheless give you a millisecond of their time.

In the current dating world, there exists a very prevalent “hook-up” culture, which I have no problem with. The problem I have is the objectification that tends to coincidently run rampant throughout these casual encounters. Often, if you’re looking for more of casual, no-strings-attached type of relationship, those that pursue you tend not to have the best manners.

Just because I only want to see you once, does not give you the right to treat me like a toy that you can use, throw away and forget about. That’s just not how you treat another human being in general, nevertheless a human being that freely gave you time, energy and attention.

Honestly, what is the harm in just saying hello to someone?

I have a theory that we’ve lost the ability to have meaningful romantic relationships because we’re losing the ability to connect with each other on a deeper than surface level.

Due to the excessive screen communication and lack of intimacy in the real world, we fail to put into practice the skills required to build an advanced relationship with someone we care about.

In addition, the drive for instant gratification causes us to frequently rush into relationships before getting to know the person and we end up broken-hearted and traumatized. Let that happen a couple times and it’s enough to make you never want to try and get emotionally connected to anyone ever again.

It’s human nature to want to be loved, accepted, valued and when we tire of the flings and start searching for a relationship which can satisfy these needs, it’s like searching for a diamond in the rough. The search seems endless and many give up on the hope of ever finding the mythical beast called love.

I can see how it is easier to throw in the towel, I've done it plenty myself.

I’ve always felt that innate desire to be unconditionally loved, even cherished, by someone and to be able to return such feelings to them. For a long time, I wanted it so badly that I tried to make it happen anywhere I could.

I put my heart into the worst hands and it got broken, nearly beyond repair. At this point, I was ready to give up, accept defeat and the fact that I would need to get comfortable being alone.

I felt I had no love left to give, not romantically at least, but you know how they always say when you stop looking for it, it happens?

I’m clinging to that hope and I still believe in true love. I have a rejuvenated confidence that I will find it one day because as soon as I gave up, someone walked into my life and broke down every wall I had built up. We can’t with absolute certainty predict what life will bring us, but we can control what we hope for and I choose to hope that true love has not gone extinct.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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12 Things That Happen When Your Person Is Far Away

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The concept of having "a person" was first introduced by "Grey's Anatomy," and took off faster than I'm sure the writers expected. For a lot of us, our person is far away. Here are some things that happen when this is you and your person:

1. You will have separation anxiety right off the bat.

2. You get irrationally jealous when they post a picture with someone else.

3. You literally text each other about everything, and I mean everything.

4. You know better than to call them if you have less than an hour to talk.

5. You stalk their Instagram so you still feel like a part of their life.

6. All your school friends know who they are because you're constantly telling stories about them.

7. When you come home for breaks they're usually the first person you see.

8. They're also usually the last person you see.

9. Your Snapchat streak is abnormally high.

10. You tell them you love them more than your significant other.

11. You send an average of 400 texts to each other in one day.

12. You miss having someone you don't have to explain anything to.

To my person, I love you no matter the distance! Thanks for always being there for me.


Cover Image Credit: http://guardianlv.com/2014/05/greys-anatomy-season-finale-goodbye-dr-cristina-yang-recap/

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Thank You, To The Women Who Loved My Boyfriend Before Me

I don't know who taught you to be the way you are, but I am thankful for them.

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I am so thankful for the women who loved you. Whether they were flings or long-term relationships, I am thankful for them.

I am thankful for the girl you dated in high school who broke your heart for the first time and I am thankful for the girls you fantasized about in your college classes. These women did nothing wrong. They were new to the dating world just like you and maybe you both honestly thought it would work out in the long run, but I am so happy they didn't.

The women before me loved you.

They helped you learn how to love someone. They taught you how to express feelings and the value of being held.

They helped you through brokenness I never could've and expanded your views of the world.

All the good and bad in those relationships help you and I have the relationship we have now. I'm not saying being your partner is always easy, sometimes we argue or get on each other's nerves.

However, you come at every situation with compassion and laughter. I don't know who taught you to be the way you are, but I am thankful for them.

I'm most thankful for your mom.

I haven't met her, although one day I hope to, she created you. She raised you to be the person you are today.

You are authentic, grounded, compassionate and driven. You are the most selfless person I have met and I know you got that from watching your mother be the same way.

You have this way of being vulnerable and elegant, even when we dance like robots in the kitchen. Your joy fills our home and all I know is that if I want to be with someone, its someone like that.

Thank you, to the females who were before me, you helped form the man I adore.

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