Saying No Doesn't Make You A Bad Person, It Preserves Your Peace

Saying No Doesn't Make You A Bad Person, It Preserves Your Peace

Society makes it hard for you to say "no" because saying "no" is rude.

Saying "no" is something that comes easy for some and harder for others. I was once a part of "others" but now I am happily part of "some".

Now that I am where I am it has become easier to see why people have a hard time saying "no" and why in other situations they don't. "No" can take all sorts of different forms; "I don't want to go out tonight", "I don't want to go with you", "I don't want to eat that", "I don't want you to do that", or "I don't want to do that". This list is long but ultimately all are saying "no" to whatever it is. I am sure there are many reasons why people have a hard time doing this but essentially it's because they have a fear of disappointing others or letting them down by not wanting to do whatever it is.

If you have a hard time saying "no" you find yourself going places that you don't want to go to, eating things you don't want to eat, dealing with situations that make you feel uncomfortable, and dealing with people that make you feel uncomfortable. Society makes it hard for you to say "no" because saying "no" is rude. Saying "no" is mean, it's anti-social, basically, why would you say "no"? The people around you have a hard time understanding why you wouldn't want to do something or go somewhere, but that isn't for you to explain. You don't need to sit around and tell them why you don't want to do something.

There are many reasons why people should say "no" or we should allow there to be more comfort in saying "no". Saying "no" keeps your peace and your freedom. When someone asks you to do something and you say "no" let go of that guilty feeling. Let go of that feeling that you hurt someone's feelings. If the people you surround yourself are hurt by any of your "no's" then that's their own insecurity battle they have to face. You didn't do anything wrong and if the person you said no to take it personally, that is them, not you. Saying "no" doesn't hurt anyone and could never hurt anyone. You feel guilty for saying "no" because the people around you have conditioned you to think that there is a burden that comes with rejecting an idea or an event, which in fact is a lie.

Not doing something that someone else wants you to do or in any situation where you would have to say "no", doesn't make you a bad person. In fact, you will learn to enjoy the things you want to do more when you learn to turn down things you don't enjoy. You will have more fun and allow your life to look like the way you want it. You won't be spending hours at an event wishing you had said no. You won't be stuck with a friend when you just wanted your alone time. Your life won't look like a constant state of, "I wish I had just said no." And your friends and family not understanding this is not your problem, it's there's.

So, just say "no". Say "no" and let go of the feeling of the worry of hurting someone else's feelings, you aren't going to do that. Enjoy all the things you want to do and leave no room for you wishing later that you had said "no". There is no reason to be stuck doing things or being around people you don't want to. It's okay to cancel things last minute or say "yes" and then "no". That is okay. Your freedom and peace of mind is all that should matter to you.

Cover Image Credit: Isaiah Rustad

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The Negative Effects Of Working As A CNA

You know you are a CNA if you are undermined, understaffed, and emotionally and physically drained.

I write this not as a way to deter people from wanting to be a CNA or to demean the job, but in order to outline the negatives, since some only outline the positives. With a job comes responsibility, and it is like that in any area or field. We have the good and we also have the bad. I am in a field where not many people like their job and they don't care who knows it. Others enjoy it and make the best of it. It is like that with any career. There are always both sides.

I write this after coming home from a meeting that we have to attend every week for 13 weeks straight. These meetings are preparing us for a new unit in our building, and they offer education so that we have the knowledge to communicate and take care of our residents. I like these meetings because I enjoy learning more in my field, however, others see it as a burden and a waste of their time. There are people who will bring in workplace drama, those that will do the bare minimum, and those that just don't care and will call in when they know their shift is short.

As a Certified Nurse Assistant, you help your residents, and you try to give them the best care that you can provide. That is the number one rule. If anything, that is the golden rule in nursing. When you step in on that floor, you are expected to give your full effort in giving the residents the care they need. Meanwhile, others step in and couldn't give a damn.

What upset me the most after the meeting was that we had to talk about abuse. We had to discuss what abuse was and why we need to treat our patients with dignity, respect, and kindness. As a CNA that is my work. I was saddened that something like this occurred, and that someone would demean a resident in a way that no one should be treated.

I'm furious, upset, and confused. The people that work in this field are there because they care, and they want to help those that cannot help themselves. So, why would they do such a thing?

It made me think of all the other negatives that I encounter in my field. The lack of appreciation from other staff and the constant undermining is tough. Nurses telling you that you are not doing your job right, or management becoming picky when you cannot chart between your residents is difficult. There is always something that you are doing wrong in someone else's eyes, and there is never a thank you when you leave your shift and everyone is clean and taken care of. There is no one to pat your back other than yourself, and you have to be your own cheerleader for a place that only looks at you as the lowest of the totem pole.

There are never enough of you. I say that because there is always a demand for CNAs, and no matter how many you have in a facility, there will never be enough. You will be short one shift or another, and you will have to scramble to reach everyone to make sure they are taken care of properly.

You come home and you have to go right back to bed because you took extra shifts. You are exhausted, and yet you still come in and put all your energy into work because you think of the residents. You consider what it would be like to not have anyone to care for you. You put them before yourself.

No one tells you any negatives as you are getting trained and go through clinicals. They only tell you that you are going into a profession that will help those that cannot help themselves, and that you should be proud of your job. It is not incorrect, but it is not fully true.

You will get called names, cursed at, abused, and you will get over-worked. No one will tell you thank you, and no one will baby you through your shift. You are a CNA. You take care of those that cannot take care of themselves. You are there to help and give care. Yes, there are negatives and you will want to quit like I've wanted to do multiple times. I will admit it. You will get upset and frustrated. This is not an easy job, and it was not intended to be, but you will get through it if you keep your heart open and honest. Do your work diligently, and do what you can to make others' lives better. That is the only reward you need to overcome the negatives.

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5 Reasons I'd Rather Stay In On A Friday Night

It's okay to not want to party over the weekend.


In college, so many people look forward to the weekend all week long. And by so many people, I mean probably almost everyone. The weekend is a time to catch up on some much-needed rest, relaxation, homework, and you time. The weekend in college also means going out for a lot of people. While yes, going out can be a really good time, I also think that it's important to note that you don't have to go out if you don't want to. There are a ton of good reasons why you should stay home for the weekend instead of partying all night long. I have compiled a list of five solid reasons why staying in is so much better than going out, especially in the middle of winter.

1. My room is so much warmer than it is outside 

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Let's face it, in the dead of winter, no one wants to go outside in a mini skirt and crop top. I'll take my pillow and blanket any day over freezing outside.

2. I can go to sleep at a reasonable hour 

Stitch Sleeping Gif

After a long week of class, the last thing I want to do is stay up until 2 am partying. I would so much rather be wrapped up reading a book at 10 pm.

3. I'm always available if a friend needs saving 

Wonder Woman Gif

Staying home, sober, I'm always available to rescue a friend in need if they drink a little too much. This is so important to me to be keeping my friends safe and getting them back home at the end of the night.

4. It's the perfect time to binge watch Netflix 

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Staying home on a Friday night gives me uninterrupted hours of binge-watching my favorite shows. There's no better feeling than finally catching up on a new season of Netflix.

5. Self-care is more important than getting drunk 

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Staying home, relaxing, doing a face mask or even reading a book allows for much needed relaxation. No one wants to stress about their hair and makeup on a Friday after you've finished 5 days of classes.

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