I know that two years can go by in a snap of Thanos' fingers, but I think I won't able to fully comprehend that I'm halfway through my college journey anytime soon. A LOT has happened to me (mentally, emotionally, even in the physical world around me) in twenty-four months, as it would for any human being, but I believe it's in these years where everything just seems much more pivotal because I am becoming an actual young adult. Other college soon-to-be juniors can relate to me with this because although we are probably super happy to have half of college under our belts already, it's also flipping scary because we still don't know what we're doing with our lives yet.
As with any end to a semester or school year, it's a time of reflection (something that I've become way too accustomed in doing during college), and so I'll be doing just that in this article. Sometimes we forget just how much we've grown and how much we've accomplished in a short amount of time that a little reflection is necessary to gain that sense of self-pride and motivation, which may be vital for me after all to kick off this summer.
When I started college, I didn't feel as though anything in my life would change: I was going to commute so I'd still be living at home and most of my friends from high school were going to be commuting as well so I thought that things would ultimately stay the same besides the fact we'd all be going to different schools. That post-high school graduation sadness didn't hit me until the start of my first semester, after all and I found myself getting lost in the world of college. I also abandoned the idea of keeping music in my studies, so that left me a little crazy, too. My first semester was tough- academically and mentally- but it was being able to push through all of that that allowed me to create a better school atmosphere for myself come next semester.
My second semester proved to be far more enjoyable with deciding to declare a musical theater minor as well as join the MSU Chorale. I also found myself going into the city more than ever before and figuring out the public transportation system with my friends from home, making awesome memories in the meantime. I also went through a bit of a freakout where I thought of switching my major, but it only made me realize just how much I loved what I was studying already.
I ended my freshman year feeling really good about everything, and that set the tone for my first four-month college summer. I wound up working two jobs and taking an online class for the beginning of summer, went to Universal Studios Orlando and even fell in love for the first time in my life. It was truly a summer I'll never forget, and I am secretly afraid I won't be able to live up to it for this one.
Sophomore year started out with the remnants of my summer-love happiness but it would soon turn into the toughest semester, academically and emotionally, yet. While I finally joined the theater club on campus and got involved in my first show since high school and made awesome friends there, I went through my first heartache right after. Insert some more hardships and finding out I was failing one of my classes, and I found myself hitting a real all-time-low by crying in front of the professor for that class. I felt the kind of horrible and dark feelings you hear about in songs and books, and I didn't know what to do to come out of it. Luckily, I have a great support system and the will to work hard when I'm stressed, so I decided to go to tutoring for the first time in my academic career and felt whatever I had to feel to move on. And so I did, and life got better from there.
At the end of the semester I decided to audition for a theater department show for the first time. I wound up getting a callback, that I would ultimately not get in the end, but it led me to getting a random email one day about an internship for the Office of Annual Giving and Alumni Engagement. I decided to just go for it and went to an interview after New Years'. Not even two hours later I found out I got the position, and it made me more excited than ever for school.
This past semester proved to be the most fun, and that's because of the classes I took that were mostly for my major. I learned that I thoroughly enjoy Public Relations and that I would be a great on-air talent for television (for my television production class). I met five amazingly sweet and hard-working girls in my internship, two of which I see myself staying friends with for the long haul. One of them has even made a deal with me to study abroad next summer, and so we plan to stay in touch in our Geology class come Fall. Although the semester ended on a weary note with a situation I had to deal with, I felt so good that summer was just around the corner to forget about everything school related and to just enjoy relaxation.
And here I am, the day after my last final and the first day of summer, writing about my entire college journey thus far. I would be lying if I said I wasn't proud of everything I've achieved in the last two years, and even though it isn't groundbreaking stuff, it seems like it in my world. I made the Dean's List for the hardest semester I've had, I've taken on an Eboard position for the NSLS chapter of my school and I already have my first internship experience under my belt. Music is a constant presence in my life with my minor, MSU Players and in my vocal lessons once a month (I'm even planning to buy a ukelele as an end-of-school present for myself). Add in all the clubs I'm a part of, continuing my blog here on Odyssey and all of the friendships I've made thus far, and I'd say these past two years have given me an abundance of blessings.
I have to admit that I may not be the biggest voucher of "Oh my gosh, college is the best thing ever," but I've learned that that's just me. I may have not gone to a proper college party yet or joined a sorority, but I've accepted that I'm making my experience everything I want it to be for me.
I may still be a little insecure with how I'm perceived by my friends at home and at school, but in reality, who isn't? I know for a fact, though, that I am not the exact same girl I started out college as, and I am completely proud of that. Growth is the most vital aspect of life, especially at this point in mine, and I am experiencing it everyday by being in college. I'm learning to accept myself for who I am, learning to to find where my passions lie and seeking my place in this huge world (and maybe even at school still).
So if the second half of college is anything like the first, I know that it's going to be a roller coaster ride. But what other way would I want it go?