Recently, upon a spontaneous decision, I cut my hair quite short. Oddly enough, I felt liberated after my haircut, as if I was a renewed woman. You see, I’ve probably cut my hair more than five times in the past four years, but short hair has a different feeling. Short hair makes me feel more like myself than I ever have in the past 20 years of life.
The first time I cut my hair was when I was 16 years old. "Why did I cut my hair" you may ask. In a fit of a sudden need for change, I cut my hair after finishing the minimum-wage job that I absolutely hated. After work, I told my mom, “Hey, I think I want to cut my hair," to which she responded with a firm “No.” After relentless begging, she finally said yes. Attempting to mimic Miley Cyrus’s undercut hairstyle, I showed the stylist a picture and said, “I want this."
Now, at 20 years old, I look back at that style with a mix of emotions. Why was I attempting to look edgy while I quietly listened to One Direction in my room? With the sides of my head shaved, I felt as if I could rule the world, Miley’s way. After the haircut, everyone I knew kept asking why I cut my hair and if everything was okay in life. I was just a 16-year-old girl in high school with a thought in my mind and a drive for change.
Ever since I can remember, everyone in my life knew me for my hair. Growing up in a culture where hair is deeply cherished and is a gateway to femininity, I could never cut my hair. It was strangely important in the family in which I grew up, so I never thought of the day when I would have short hair. Everyone defined me for my long and curly hair.
As a young child, I believed that hair defined my external beauty. I was only beautiful if I had long hair, which was completely wrong. Cutting my hair let me feel like I was beautiful, with or without the long hair. Beauty wasn’t defined by the length of my hair anymore and I finally processed that I shouldn’t let society or my family define my external beauty.
At 18 years old, I completely shaved my head at the end of finals week. After shaving my head, I realized there wasn't a single hair on which I could rely to feel beautiful. I was bald, literally, which was such an odd and free feeling. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and saying, “Wow, this what I look like without hair." At the end of the day, I don’t believe I could shave my head again, but I learned so much by doing so.
Short or long hair, I was still beautiful as a woman. Hair should never define your external beauty because beauty comes from within. So, next time, if you’re feeling a little ballsy, cut your hair or don’t--it’s a free country.