No, I do not have to hate you to make the decision to cut you off. No, this doesn't mean I don't care about you. No, this doesn't mean I don't want to see you succeed, because I really do and that is why I had to let you go even in the virtual world.
At times, I found myself reminiscing on what we had one day as lovers, couple, and most of all friends. Memory lane was very seductive when I had the opportunity of going on Snapchat memories, Instagram posts, and Facebook reminders of what I did a year ago. While I don't consider this to be unhealthy if it happens sporadically, I do think that I would be not looking out for myself if I still had you on social media and kept up with everything you do, say, think, and share.
It was hard, because I didn't want you to think that you didn't mean something to me. It was hard, because deleting pictures, posts, and rearranging my room after you left was never part of the plan. It was hard, because we have friends in common that we both care about. It was hard, because I knew you still had our pictures up on your profiles. It was hard, because I saw you were doing better without me and while that made me happy for you, it also made me sad.
I had to think about it long and hard before hitting that unfriend and unfollow button, but at the end of the day I had to do it at some point. In a way, I knew there was no going back after this happened --In a way it was the ultimate goodbye and new beginning of our separate lives. There's no way I can bring back all those memories and that is exactly what I needed to do. We both knew things changed months before our journey ended and keeping that in mind made me realize that memory lane only took me to happy times and places, which was not realistic at all.
It all came down to me taking control of the situation and deciding what was best for me at the time. It's worth mentioning that I do not block or unfriend people on a regular basis, regardless of what happens between the person and me. But this time it was different, I HAD to take that step even if I didn't like it. So, I sat down while listening to sappy music and let you go. It was nothing personal or out of spite, it was more out of self-preservation than anything else.
For the longest time my friends suggested (scratch that, begged me) to delete and block you from all social media and I didn't understand why. But now I do and I hope you do too. I needed that weight to be lifted off my shoulders and I'm sure you did too. Everything feels better now and the absence of our virtual presence probably allows us to fully express ourselves freely.