My formerly pristine hair has come out of its bun, my previously dry, fashionable outfit is now a sweaty one, and my ears are a little sore from the headphones.

Despite this, I have never felt more content, and I walk out of the gym with a smile as big as the one I walked in with. The feeling of satisfaction I get from working out is profound, especially given that, just four years ago, I never could have done this.

In sixth grade, I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, a condition that causes chronic joint pain, swelling and stiffness. My fingers would swell when it got cold, I was on crutches because I couldn’t walk, and I was almost always home on the computer with ice packs on my ankles. Because of the pain and swelling that exercise caused me, I had to quit soccer and tennis, two sports that I really enjoyed. For years, I was stuck on the sidelines, not just in sports, but in life. I had given up all hope of getting better because my body was so weak, and I couldn’t participate in anything my friends were doing, whether it was sports, gym class, or just walking around the mall. The illness had stunted my growth, my body’s weakness had tired me out, and I felt increasingly isolated from my friends. I knew my body would eventually quit on me, but I never thought it would be at the ripe old age of 12.

After about eight different doctors and multiple diagnoses, my family found a rheumatologist who prescribed me some medicines for JRA and, finally, after nearly three years I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. My arthritis responded to the medications, and I started slowly growing again. However, not participating in sports for years made it almost impossible to get back into the physical routine I had before. My rheumatologist suggested I start by taking walks on the treadmill, which, to be honest, I despised. Eventually, I convinced my mom to check out the huge Lifetime Fitness gym near our house. We were given a tour, I fell in love, and my mom bought me a membership. I started going to the gym regularly. After walking on the treadmill got boring, I would move to the leg press, then the ab machines, then the elliptical. Then I would grab some floor mats and do more exercises. Then I would start over. I had all this physical and emotional energy bottled up inside of me that I realized I could healthily use to strengthen my body.

Years later, I can proudly say that the gym is my happy place. Whether it’s at Lifetime when I’m home or at the gym at school, I go almost every day, and I lift. I lift for hours. The way I feel when I lift is indescribable, and I’ve never felt this great about my body in my life. My self-confidence has skyrocketed, I have achieved my goals and continued to set new ones, and watching my health progress both physically and mentally as a result of going to the gym is inexpressible. It’s addicting: picking up weights, the pulsing I feel in my muscles after finishing a set, the soreness I know I’m going to feel when I wake up the next morning as a result of a great workout. I still hate cardio though...I swear the thought of an elliptical gives me nightmares!

While I would never have wished to have JRA, I am grateful that it forced me not to take my body for granted. Every second I am at the gym, I feel empowered and appreciative of what my body can do, and I am thankful that I fought my way back to that feeling of physical, mental and emotional contentment that I never thought I’d experience again.