Confessions are scary. They're hard. I've told numerous of my friends to just go for it, but it's obviously easier said than done. It's not easy. Confessions bring upon vulnerability, which is the core of shame, of fear, and our struggle for worthiness. . . but it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging and of love.
Yes. I like this guy. I like this guy a lot and he has no idea. I haven't said anything to him and have no intention to. I'm a wimp when it comes to him. For that reason alone, I know that he's different. I've never had an issue telling a guy I was interested in him. I've thought about it multiple times, but I know I will never act upon my feelings.
So here it is. My confession to the guy I can't seem to forget.
I like you. I like you a lot.
I think you're crazy intelligent and have so much going for you. That's what got me. I'll be honest, when I first saw you I didn't think anything of you, "just another guy". I continued to see you throughout the year and when I finally heard you talk, I was automatically drawn in. The way you composed your sentences, the way you spoke about the subject we were on, and the way you knew exactly what you were saying. You were confident in your intelligence and there is nothing more attractive than that.
I think you're funny, goofy, silly. You always make me laugh when I'm around you. You make those around you smile and everyone is drawn to your presence. You're kind and you're sweet, that at times it annoys me how much attention you get from other girls that aren't me. It's hard but with a personality like yours, I don't blame them.
It's so hard because I sit here and ignore other guy's messages in the hope that someday it'll be yours. Whenever I make progress to forget you, you magically pop back into my life. We stumble upon each other, I find out we have yet another mutual friend, or you appear on my social media again. Who knows, maybe this confession will do me more good than you, maybe I just need to let my feelings out to begin moving on.
I like you, but I will never tell you.
You will never know and I will always wonder.
But honestly, that's okay.
I don't expect you to magically stumble upon this and realize it's about you. At this point, I don't expect you to reach out and spark a conversation. I know that if you ever felt remotely the same about me, it would've already happened. Someday, somewhere, the plan that was meant to be will be. If you were meant to be in mine then you will. Until then, this is it.