First off, I want to say something that goes along with the last conversation we ever had. We didn't try for nothing. We tried for everything. We tried for love, and succeeded. Beginnings come when you least expect them to, and you were the most wonderful surprise. But endings seem to come when you dread them the most, and I will always miss you being in my life. I lost count of how many times I wished for you, but sometimes the world ignores our wishes and gives us the opposite of what we want. I will never understand how such a perfect beginning could have such a destroyed end, but everything in the middle was the best time of my life.
You can remember me how you wish to, and tell your friends and family what you would like. But you will always be my best kept secret, because I will never be able to put into words the amount of love my teenage self held for you. You will always be the guy I fell in love with in high school, the one who will fill my memory books and be a person I tell my kids about. I held an infinite amount of love for you and you will always hold a piece of my heart that I know I won't be able to let go of. When we are halfway across the world from each other 40 years from now and you are off chasing your dreams, I will come across something that will remind me of you and I will smile. Maybe I won't know why I am smiling, but nevertheless, I will smile.
You gave me the greatest memories a girl could ask for. You turned my world around. I went from an awful relationship and not knowing what it was like to be treated so well, to the most incredible person. From all of the little adventures we went on, to all the places you surprised me. The fancy dates and the ones spent staying home and playing games with your siblings or watching a movie. You always made me laugh when you did the simplest things. You made sure that my bad days were turned around into good days, and that I never went to bed sad or without knowing that you loved me. You held my hand when I needed it the most and you were the reason I forgot all of the bad things that went on in my life at the time. From flowers at work, to a random Snickers bar every chance you got, you made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
One day, you will finally be able to look at yourself and see what I see. You always struggled with self image issues and I want you to know that you had no reason to. You are so intelligent it blows my mind away. You won't need constant reassurance one day, because you will be able to realize how incredible of a person you are. You will see all of the good things in yourself instead of the bad, and all of the things that you do that make me smile. You will realize your self worth and you won't settle for less. I only wish you the best.
You're going to make the girl in your future very happy one day, and I hope you smile ten times more with her then you did with me. I hope you get every bit of good that this world has to offer. I don't hate you for all of the bad things that happened in our relationship. We learned from them and we grew, and will have experience to take into our next relationship.
I want you to know that I am proud of you. I am proud of the you now for all of the things that you have accomplished, and I am proud of the future you because I know that person will do great things. Maybe we won't ever talk again, and if we are being honest we aren't going to come to each other when we need something. We will move on with our lives even if it takes time, and we will find new people to learn how to love. But I will always hold you in my heart. And for now every time I step outside and look at the moon, I will remember you are under the same one as me and I will smile.
I love you. Maybe not in the same way I used to, but I love you. I always will. But for now, I have let you go.