"Maybe she was your favorite person, but you only wanted her when you felt alone." r.m. drake

It's 2 a.m and yet here you are. Lying in the pitch black, only your phone screen light illuminating your face as you search through your text history, social media and the ever taunting snap map wondering if he's thinking of you. Wondering if he's awake or if he'll text you back this time. Even though you know he probably won't.

Countless thoughts run through your mind as it takes almost everything in you not to text him again. Not to think about how all the important men in your life warned you that "Boys only want one thing" and blah blah blah.

You try not to doubt yourself on the days where communication falls silent. Just as you try not to jump up and down on the days that he finally texts you back. Despite some lame excuse, or the times he uses the truth as a catch to make you forgive him all over again: "Sorry I didn't realize I was ghosting you this bad..."

And yet even though he answers fewer of your texts than he ghosts some days, you still jump at the chance to see him. Even though you know it won't last. Even though you know he only shows up in your inbox when he is lonely. Only on his time and never on yours.

I wish I could tell you that you will cut him and any other guy like him out of your life. I wish I could tell you that you won't answer his next text. That you will be stronger. That you will stop hoping that he'll magically change into the guy you wished he would and come to your aid.

But truth is, we accept the love we think we deserve over and over again. And as long as we project our hopes and dreams into people that will only let us down, we will continue to find people similar to the one who haunts you at night now.

You are a truly magical being with so much light and energy radiating out of you. You are intelligent. You are kind. You are valuable. And you deserve to love yourself above all others.

I wish me telling you this would help you not check your inbox again, that you would magically forget about him. But it won't.

What I do hope; however, is that you might begin to appreciate what looks back at you in the mirror. That once this guy leaves you hanging too long or breaks your heart that you will walk away, but that you will never forget the way he made you feel.

How you laughed with your head all the way back. The way the stars looked upon his rooftop. The way he made you feel the first time he asked you to never change who you were because he liked you for you. How light you felt as he carried you home.

How even though he wasn't supposed to be permanent, even though he wasn't planned, he resurrected a confidence in you that you never knew existed. That because of all of this, no matter how much you wanted him to be the one he would still somehow manage to let you down.

No, he may not be your forever, and his emotional unavailability might always outweigh even your greatest desires to give him another chance. But you will make it.

So, here's to the ones that will surely break our hearts. May we never forget the nights that forever changed us for the better, and for the mornings that taught us some of the hardest lessons. But most importantly for the days that we chose to walk away, whether by choice or simply no other option and decided to finally put ourselves first. Because we are too full of life to be half-loved.