Grandma,

Life is unfair and life is cruel and you were taken from this world far too soon. You were such a positive light in my life and I saw you as my best friend, my mentor, my favorite person, my everything.

I still think of you every. single. day. and I can’t help but think what my life would be like right now had you still been here. There are so many things that I have done in which I wanted to call you, but then remembered that you were no longer with us.

I’ve tried to call your phone, but it says it’s disconnected. I still listen to your voicemails because I have them saved and sometimes I just need to hear your voice.

I see you in my dreams so much, and when I don’t I wonder where you went and if you really are watching over me. I wish you could’ve been there for me when I graduated, when I had my first heartbreak, when I moved away to college, for my birthdays, for when I had tough times, and for so many little things.

You were taken from all of us way too soon and I can’t imagine my life without you. Your hugs made me feel good again, so soft and comforting. You would sing or hum to me and rub my back and I wish I could go back to that time.

No matter what, I would always call you for no reason to just talk about anything and everything. You listened to me and even if you did judge me it was just because you wanted the best for me. So thank you, thank you for everything you have done for me and continue to do for me every day.

I get sad thinking about how I’ll never be able to make your famous fudge with you anymore, or go to the flea market together or just sit on your patio and sing zipadeedoodah again. There are so many things I have done in my life in the last 3.5 years that you have been gone. You would be so proud of me.

I got a tattoo for you. I hope you approve of it. It says I love you in your handwriting. I wear your ring on a chain all the time to help comfort me in times of need.

The thing I miss the most about you is your carefree spirit. You never cared what others thought, you were a very bold and outspoken women that sometimes got herself into trouble. You were never afraid to talk to anyone and made friends all the time; I wish I could be like you, not having a care in the world.

Life is so unfair. I want you back. I need you here. I just wish I could’ve said goodbye in person and not over the phone.

When I heard you were really gone my heart cracked and broke into a million pieces, and I just fell to the floor and sobbed and I felt like I couldn’t breath. You were really gone... and there was nothing I could do to change that. If only you could just come back and tell me you are doing okay up there and that you love me, that would be so perfect.

Tell Cheeva I said hi and everyone else I care about, I miss you so much. Please never leave my thoughts, my dreams and my life ever again. I love you so much. I hope you know that.

Love,

Your Kenzie Girl