I remember pretty clearly the day in which I found out I was going to be a big sister-well, as clearly as a 5-year-old can, anyway. While I don't recall certain details, I do remember being extremely disappointed that I would have to share not only my toys, but the attention of my parents. To be honest, that feeling didn't go away for a few years — having a brother was annoying. I had to share food, my room, toys, and constantly battle for the spotlight. However, he was pretty fun to be around once he stopped crying, and spitting up everywhere. I always assumed my brother would be around forever, so I never really paid much attention to all of the good things about having him around.

Picture Credit: Lynda DeRivera

When I was 10 years old, some circumstances made it so that I was to live with my grandmother in one part of California, and my brother was living with his grandmother in another part of the state — yes, we were half-siblings. Eventually, he went to live with his father in Arizona, while I moved to Montana in order to live with mine. We lost touch, and I spent the rest of my teens as a single child. I didn't realize how much I would miss, and miss out on, by not having my little brother around.

Picture Credit: Samantha Bedard-Deming

1. I missed having someone to play with when our parents were doing boring 'grown-up' stuff.

2. I missed fighting over the bathroom while we were getting ready for school.

3. I missed automatically having a friend in a group of people I didn't know.

4. I missed having someone who always understood exactly what I was going through.

5. I missed out on giving advice for his first day of middle school and high school.

6. I wasn't able to give him a pep-talk for his first date.

7. I wasn't able to fulfill my duty as an older sister and make sure his girlfriends weren't crazy.

8. I constantly wondered if he remembered me.

9. I always worried that he wouldn't look up to me since we no longer lived together.

10. I missed his first BMX race- and every race after that.

11. I didn't get the chance to help him with his homework when he didn't understand something.

12. I wasn't there when he was feeling down and alone.

13. I missed out on celebrating countless accomplishments.

14. I missed out on talking about what he wants to do with his life.

Picture Credit: Alan Lawrence

All in all, I missed out on eleven years of my little brother growing up. I sometimes worry that he'll hate me for missing out on so many important events in his life, that he'll blame me for not being there. If there's one thing that I want my not-so-little, little brother to know, it's that I love him, I'm proud of him, and I'm excited for the day when we get to see each other again. Oh, and also that being an inch taller than me does not make you cooler — it just means you're a really tall twerp.