How Growing Up In Two Different Households Changes You

How Growing Up In Two Different Households Changes You

Two Christmases, two Thanksgivings, two birthdays.

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You never think it will be tour family that gets split up. You never think you will have to choose between your parents. All the arguing and fighting. The constantly meeting up with your parents "friends" when it's actually their lawyers. Always worrying about if you are with mom, dad is gonna be jealous or if you're with dad, mom is gonna be jealous. Basically living out of a suitcase most of the time and never being in one house for too long.

1. Switching between parents for each holiday.

If I was with my dad for Christmas, then I was with my mom for Thanksgiving and for New Years, or vice versa. There was always two of each holiday. Not ever being able to just be with everyone you care about, its either dad's side or mom's side. When all you want is to be able to be with both of them.

2. The step parents.

Ohh, there are horror stories about the step-parents, shipping you away, or treating you as slaves. When they try to act as if your dad or mom is no longer present, it turns into an all-out war. They don't respect any of your personal boundaries, and are always criticizing the way you were raised, or always having a double standard when it comes to their own kids and you. While not everyone has had a bad experience with step parents. This is my experience.

3. Living with either your mom or dad, your other parent misses out on a lot.

There is a lot of things that parents miss out on because they don't live close by, like award ceremonies, birthdays, sporting events. Things you wish they could be there for, to be able to share in the everyday things that shape you. To be able to have both people there who love you unconditionally and want nothing but greatness for you.

4. The constant competition between the parents to be the favorite

There is never a time where they aren't trying to compete with each other, or hoping that you will pick them over the other one. You feel like you are being pulled a hundred different directions, and you don't know which way to go. You love both of them so much but it is so difficult to have to pick between them.

5. They are struggling as much as you are.

They lost a family as much as you did, so you gotta try and cut them some slack. Even though you are sad and brokenhearted, they are more sad and brokenhearted. They just lost a husband or a wife, they promised to love each other forever and it didn't end up working out. They need time to heal just like you do. They are doing the best they can.

6. Either having to fly or drive to see your other parent, sucks.

You just wish they were so much closer so you can see them more often but they aren't. There is nothing you can do but be in the car for 4 or 5 hours because there is no other way of getting there. It is just so much harder when they are far away and you just feel like going to see them. You have to deal with the fact you aren't always gonna be able to see them.

7. Hoping you don't forget anything at their house because you won't be able to get it till you go back.

if you leave your favorite pair of shoes or a pair of shorts, you probably won't get it back for a couple weeks, or if you forget your retainer, they are gonna have to be shipped to you. Constantly making sure you don't forget to take something there or bring it back.

8. Missing how your life used to be.

Always wishing that you could have your old house back or wanting to be able to celebrate holidays how you use to be able to. Now its always separate, everything is no matter what. They may get together for like big important things but there will never be a family Christmas. It's just sad, so very sad.

9. Hoping that when you are older and have your own family that this won't happen to you.

Because your parents got divorced. sometimes you think well will get divorced from my spouse when I am older? All you want is to be able to love your spouse and always be able to make it work no matter what. and have a loving family, and not have to rip apart your kids' lives. Be happy with one another always, its a thought and sometimes its a worry.

10. Still knowing that you have a mom and dad that love you, they just aren't together anymore.

They will always be there for you no matter what, them getting divorced doesn't mean that they love you any less. It is always gonna be ok because they are always gonna be there for you, just maybe not at the same time but its unconditional love no matter how far apart you are from each other.

It gets easier as time goes by and eventually you will grow up and everything will be less complicated because you will have your own life. And they will always be there for you no matter what.

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Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.
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Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I appreciate you.

You are the hardest working woman I know, continuously putting your family before yourself. Thank you for doing all of the tedious jobs that no one wants to do like keeping the house in order, cooking the food, and doing the laundry. Thank you for constantly putting up with my siblings and I. Thank you for always supporting us in our interests and hobbies. Thank you for investing in our daily lives and listening to our minor problems. Thank you for always loving us unconditionally.

SEE ALSO: 51 Things My Mom Didn't Think I Was Listening To...

I hope you know I'm sorry.

I know I can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, arguing with you, not listening to you, and making dumb decisions at times, but thank you for loving me anyways. Thank you for helping me stand back up, teaching me right from wrong, and pushing me to be the very best version of me.

I hope you know your love inspires me.

You live your life with a love that is contagious. Whether its nurturing love, tough love, friendly love, or romantic love, you have it all and you show it daily. The love you and Dad share is something I hope to find one day and the love you have for your family is evident in the way you constantly put us first.

I hope you know that you are my biggest role model and hero.

Ever since I was a little girl, you have been the person I have looked to in my life. You are strong, independent, confident, loving, supportive, and nurturing-- everything I strive to be as a woman and as a future mother. You give the best advice, even when I don't always take it. Though, I should know better by now because mothers always know best. Without you in my life, I honestly don't know where I'd be.

I hope you know that you are my best friend.

Not only are you my biggest cheerleader supporting me in everything I do, you are the person I talk to about everything, whether it's good or bad. I'm honestly so thankful for the relationship we share because I've had countless screwups and you literally give the best advice. Seriously, thank you for being the person I can count on at all times, at any time of the day or even night to just talk with. I mean we really do have some of the best conversations, best laughs, best cries (when needed), and the most fun watching cheesy chick flicks together or going on crazy shopping adventures.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl With The Cool Mom

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

I don't mean to make you cry or anything -- even though you probably already are, but I want you to know that when the time comes, I'm going to be there for you just like all of these years you've been here for me. I will be there to support you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and love you for all of my life.

Honestly, I can't really imagine my life without you -- but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be here without you, so here's to you.

Thank you for being you.

Love you lots!

Your daughter.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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To My Mom Who Struggles

I threw a wrench into your life plans, but you learned better than most people about how to roll with the punches and take what life throws at you with a grain of salt.

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Dear Mom,

I've watched you struggle. You've struggled every day for a while now. Leaving you and going to college was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I know that I was always your right-hand man, your therapist, your best friend, and your shoulder to cry on and I am sorry I can not be that for you all the time anymore. I am so sorry that I can not be there to help you out at the drop of a hat like I did when our crazy lives were getting just too much to bear sometimes. I wish I was not so far away. I wish that furthering my education did not have to be so far away from you, Mom.

I know there was so much more you could have and would have done if I had never come around as early as I did. Becoming a mom at sixteen definitely threw a wrench into your life plans, but you learned better than most people about how to roll with the punches and take whatever life threw at you with a grain of salt. I, also, know that raising me has been hard. As much as I wish I could say I was an easy child, I definitely was not. I pushed every boundary you set for me and then some, but you knew when to let me keep pushing or when I needed to be pulled back. For a while, I knew it seemed like you could do nothing right when it came to me because I just did not listen. I want you to know that that was not your fault. I went through things that you don't know about still to this day, but I want to thank you for sticking with me through all of the bad and somehow making it all good in the end.

As hard as it was and as much as you struggled, you did a pretty damn good job raising me and always making sure I feel loved and safe at all times. You have shaped me into the confident and respectable young woman that I am today. I want to thank you for never giving up on me even when I had given up on myself. I want you to know that our long talks about life lessons have not been forgotten and everything you have tried to teach me will stick with me for the rest of my life. You are my best friend, my rock (haha), and the person who keeps me going when I feel like college is too unbearable for me to continue. I love you so much and I hope you never forget that.

Love, Brittany

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